


Clair de Lune

by ForestofInk



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternate Universe, Light lives in northern us, M/M, Were-Creatures, Werewolves, werewolf!L
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-11 00:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4414289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForestofInk/pseuds/ForestofInk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light lives on the edge of the woods where he has spent years watching the wolves behind his house. One gray eyed wolf- his wolf - watches back. As the bite of winter grows colder, the wolves draw nearer to his haven in the woods but they are not what they seem. Light learns to never love a wild thing. Werewolf LxLight AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Winter

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the Wolves of Mercy Falls series nor Death Note

I remember lying in the snow, growing cold, surrounded by wolves.

They were biting, snarling, and whining, worrying their way into me. They smelt of earth, burning leaves, and wet dog, a combination that both pleased and terrified me. Ice glistened off their ruffs and their opaque breaths were visible in the frigid winter afternoon. Hot, salty tongues melted into my skin as jagged teeth carelessly tore at my clothes. They snapped and growled on top of me, snagging through my hair and making frightful noises.

I could have screamed, but I didn't. I could have fought and squirmed, but I didn't either. I just lied there, watching the winter skies grow gray above me.

One wolf nuzzled his nose into my cheek, inhaling my scent, and casting a dark shadow over me. His wide eyes looked into mine while the others jerked me this way and that.

I tried to hold onto his eyes as long as I could.  _Gray._  The first thing I had registered was their unique color, beautiful up close. They reminded me of an overcast storm, clouds heavy and dark with the promise of rain. The musky earth, damp with the memory of it. I like the rain.

I wanted to reach out and touch him but my hands stayed frigid and cold, curled against my body. I let out a small moan as the wolves started to become suffocating, closing in, too close. Then, he was gone and I was smothered by the wolves, their prickling furs were in my mouth and nostrils.

Panic unfurled when I realized I could no longer breathe.  _They were killing me._  There was no sun; no light. I was dying and I couldn't see the sky above me. The wolves were dragging their teeth across the crescent of my neck.  _It's so cold._

_I still remember his eyes. I hold on._

* * *

x L x

They snatched the boy off his backyard swing, dragging his body into the woods, creating a shallow track in the snow from his world to mine. I watched it happen. I didn't stop it.

It had been the coldest, harshest winter of my life. I wasn't fully matured; soft with puppy fat and tripping over too big paws, seeking the elders for comfort. Naïve, impulsive, and hungry _._ I was quick to fall into my animalistic instincts, to let the wolf take over.

Day after day under the indifferent sun, I began to lose my humanity. Hunger became a cruel, insatiable master that constantly burned and gnawed. That month the earth was dead, nothing moved, the landscape was a barren wasteland devoid of color that held no sustenance. One of us had been shot trying to snag scraps off someone's back porch, the rest stayed in the woods and slowly starved, waiting to return to our old bodies.

Until they found him and attacked.

They hid in the snarl of brush that surrounded his home, watching and waiting, their flanks shuddered in eagerness. The boy sat on his swing, with dainty legs tucked beneath him. My mouth watered at the thought of snapping them like twigs beneath my teeth.

They attacked and I saw them tug the boy's body this way and that, wearing away snow beneath them. Their muzzles smeared bloody and wanting more, easily trading his life for theirs. I still didn't stop it.

_I was hungry too._

I hung back, whining and whimpering, watching them tear into him, ankle deep in snow, fighting myself. Hunger told me to join them but my humanity lingered, it wouldn't let me. This wasn't right.

The boy smelled warm, alive.  _Why didn't he move? If he was alive, why didn't he struggle?_

One of us violently jerked his head, tearing off a piece of fabric with a loud rip. I could smell the boy's blood, warm and vibrant, in this dead world. My stomach twisted-a knife diving deeper and turning- I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten. I wanted to push through the wolves and join them, to pretend I couldn't smell his humanness or hear his soft moans, to pretend that this wasn't murder.

He was so small under our wilderness. Fragile thing built upon fawn legs and tissue-paper skin.

With a snarl and show of teeth, I pushed through the wall of wolves until I towered over the boy's unmoving body. His warm brown eyes were glazed over as they watched the graying skies.  _Was he dead?_ I nuzzled his cheek, trying to find any signs of life. He smelled of warm sugar, butter, and detergent- a world far from mine.

His honey-brown eyes slowly rolled to meet mine. I held his gaze. In his warm orbs, there was so much brutal honesty.

I recoiled, trembling and seizing.  _Changing._

His eyes were on my eyes. His blood was on my face.

His life.

My life.

The pack fell back from me, wary. They growled, rejecting me, I was no longer one of them. With a snap at my direction, they turned back to their prey. He was so beautiful, fragile, a tiny, bloody angel in the snow. He looked even more peaceful with his eyes closed, no longer struggling amongst the fray.  _They were going to destroy him._

I saw him and I felt something like I've never felt before. The wolves were finally going in for the kill.

_And I stopped it._

* * *

x Light x

I would see him again after that. Always lingering at the edge of the woods in our backyard, his eyes remained steady on me as I would change the birdfeeder or take out the garbage but he never came close. To my parent's horror, I would still sit on my swing. I waited for him there but he didn't wait for me.

He was an unpredictable creature who never ran on a schedule. Sometimes I wouldn't see him for weeks. But I knew he would always return. So I waited.

As I became older, I outgrew the safety of my backyard and became more daring. I would gather raw meat scraps and cautiously approach him, meat in hand, palm facing up, eyes lowered. No threat as I attempted to speak his language. Curiously, he would watch but if I got too close he would always melt into the undergrowth and disappear.

_Patience_ , I would remind myself.  _Patience._

I was never afraid of him. As the years passed, I grew and so did he until he was more than large enough to knock me off my swing and strong enough to drag me into the woods all by himself. But the ferocity of his body wasn't in his eyes.

Wolves roamed the woods of my Washington backyard but he wasn't like them. No, he was different.

Built on long leggy lines, he towered over any regular wolf by a few feet. He was a creature of elegance with a long, thin snout, a slender face, and a lithe, ebony frame. I remembered his gaze with storm-cloud eyes that held so much intelligence, and I couldn't bring myself to fear him. He would never hurt me.

And I wanted him to know I wouldn't hurt him.

I waited. And waited.

And he waited too, but I wasn't sure for what. This pattern went unbroken for six years: the wolves' haunting presence in the woods and their even more haunting disappearances. I didn't really think much about their oddness. I thought they were wolves.

Only wolves.

* * *

xXx

L Lawliet flipped through a worn, dogged-ear book as he managed the cash register at 'The Woodsy Nook' bookstore. Warm, summer sunlight streamed in and bleached the books on the shelves. The smell of aging, unread words permeated the air as Lawliet sipped his over-sweetened iced tea and enjoyed his reading. This is what he loved about being human.

The 'ding' of the store's door bell startled him and brought his dulled senses alive. A group of teenaged boys entered the once peaceful bookstore. Lawliet decided they were too rowdy to need his help so he turned back to his novel and nonchalantly sipped his tea. He doesn't give them much thought except that they could be quieter.

But then, through the cacophony of laughter and inappropriate boyish jokes, he heard a familiar voice. A melodic tenor, warm and articulate, rose above the noise.

"Guys, can you be a little quieter. This is a bookstore after all." A young auburn haired teen said with a hint of frustration his voice.

Lawliet recognized the voice immediately. It had to be him.

From where he sat, crouched behind the cashier's counter, Lawliet tilted his head up slightly, and risked a peek at the boys.

_It was him._

Lawliet heart beats violently against his chest. The others continued talk but in a more hushed tone, now they're gesturing towards a paper crane Lawliet had made and hung above the children's section. The brunette boy detached from the group as he scanned over the covers of books, looking for an escape.

He had imagined meeting him before but not like this. He had planned out so many different scenarios in his head, but now that he is finally in front of him, Lawliet couldn't find for the life of him what to do. Lawliet briefly contemplated whether he should dart out of the room but no, this was his chance.

The boy steeled himself for whatever may come next as he watched the boy skim through a book he had picked up. From the look of it, it what an intelligent text filled the complex wording and theories, a book not many would have picked up. This piqued Lawliet's interest.

The boy was buried in his book as he walked about the store; he gets closer and closer to the counter. Lawliet wanted nothing more than to hide. Now, that the boy's in front of him, he seemed so breathtakingly close.  _Wow, is he beautiful._  His warm scent is all Lawliet could breathe.

Lawliet heard his heart thud and felt adrenaline kick in. He was right in front of him. Just one more step and they'll be only little more than a foot apart. Slowly, Light closed his book and raised his head but his friends caught his attention.

"Hey, Light! Over here, isn't this the book you wanted?" One of the boys called, waving a clearance stickered novel in his hand.

Light smiled and walked over, they begun talk once more but this time Light made an attempt to seem interested. Lawliet sucked in a slow breath as he watched Light examine books with the group of boys. His body language, the tilt of his shoulders, the small smile on his lips, indicated only polite interest. Through the store's blinds, sunlight rays highlighted his silken locks, creating a halo of light around him like a crown.

"Hey."

Lawliet jumped and brought his attention to the boy in front of him.  _Not Light._

The boy had a face filled with acne and smelled of sweat. Lawliet wanted to recoil but offered a poor 'how can I help you' smile. It ended up looking a bit deranged.

"How much for this?" The acne-faced teen asked as he slid a book to Lawliet's side of the counter.

Lawliet scanned the price and announced the total with a monotone voice, "$13.50."

"Jeez, that price for a paperback?"

Lawliet said nothing when the boy pulled out his wallet to pay. Cash in hand, he turned to face his group.

"Hey guys, come on we got to go already! I need to be home early!"

Like obedient dogs, they headed toward the counter and placed their books on it for Lawliet to ring up. Light stayed in the law section of the store, reading the book's spines with a pondering expression.

As Lawliet rung up the items, he didn't take his gaze off the boy. ' _Look at me. Just look at me, I'm here.'_

Acne boy opened the door with a ding and made an impatient sound at the herd. One of the boys, with long, choppy blonde hair looked at Lawliet with a wary stare as he continued to watch Light browse through the books. Lawliet knew he wasn't hiding his staring but couldn't stop nor did he really care.

The blonde haired boy frowned before exiting the store. One of them said, "Light, come on. We have to go."

Lawliet felt his heart beat even more painfully as Light started towards the door.  _'Please, just turn this way. Just look at me.'_

He waited.

Light, the only person in the world Lawliet ever wanted to talk to, traced an elegant finger across a book's spine before turning to leave, without ever looking back.

* * *

xXx

Light Yagami never thought much about his incident with the wolves until Sam Gulley was killed.

He found out when he arrived home after school. He had entered the door, hung up his coat, and removed his boots, to find his family gathered around the television, grim-faced and tense. The television's screen displayed the local news and an insincerely sincere reporter. A map of their county appeared next a blurry photo of a wolf on the upper left corner.

"What's wrong?" He asked, warily walking over to his family.

They didn't answer, too engrossed to even realize the teen had uttered a word.

" _The body was found just beyond the neighborhood of Boundary Wood. The condition he was found in indicated a wolf attack. An autopsy is currently-"_

' _Oh, so that's it_ ,' Light mentally sighed as he began to leave the sobriety of the living room.

"It was close to here. Where they found him." Light's mother turned to him with a haunted expression. Light knew what she was currently thinking:  _six years ago, a little boy named Light Yagami was playing on his swing till he was dragged into the woods by wolves; a little boy bloodied and close to death._

His parents never really moved on from the incident. His father tried to forget by busying himself with case work, his mother developed a minor case of OCD, keeping the house sterile, and painting in her art studio when she had free time.

"I can't believe it," his mother went on, "Just on the other side of Boundary Wood that's…that's where he was killed."

"Or died," Light said, a feeble attempt at defending the wolves.

His mother frowned at him, slightly frazzled." What?"

"He could've just passed out by the side of the road and been dragged into the woods while he was unconscious."

His mother's attention went back to the screen, along with the rest of the family. She shook her head. "They  _attacked_  him, Light."

Light glanced out the window at the woods; it was early September in Washington. The leaves were like a fiery abstract as the world turned over, beauty before death to be reborn again. He thought about the wolves. After so many years watching them, Light had learned all their faces and their personalities. There were a few that could have done this.

Amongst the pack, was a scrawny, sickly-looking wolf, with a scraggly coat and one foul, running eye. His whole body shouted of illness and the rolling whites of his wild eyes whispered of a diseased mind. Light could have imagined him attacking again.

And then there was the white she-wolf. She way up in the pack, and held a savage, restless beauty about her. Images of her pearlescent coat, intertwining with the others' earth-toned colors ran through Light's mind. He could imagine her too, attacking a human. But the others? They were just silent ghosts in the woods.

They couldn't have done this.

Light's attack was an isolated incident. It was a record cold winter, the deer population was at an all-time low, and Light was an easy target. They attacked not out of aggression but of hunger and the need to survive. They didn't even carry out their attack, leaving Light bloodied and injured, but alive.

Despite everything, Light grew to love them.

Their life became his as he recorded them through photographs and sketches. His room was littered with their images. For his tenth birthday, he asked his mother for a case of graphite pencils and a sketchbook for the sole purpose of drawing the wolves. The pages quickly ran out and the pencils turned to mere stubs in no time, the fruit of their work hung on his walls to be replaced with photographs and better versions of themselves.

"Light, do you mind cooking dinner tonight?" His mother interrupted his thoughts. Her face was apologetic, yet hopeful.

"It's no problem," Light replied like the good son he was. He was used to being burdened with the responsibility of cooking dinner. It seemed that everyone was always too busy to do anything around the house.

His mother smiled, relieved, and got up to give him a peck on the cheek before rushing off to her art studio. "Thank you!" She exclaimed as she ran up the stairs like an overly excited child.

The teenager watched her disappear with a smile. If she wasn't happy right now she would have been miserable, haunted by memories of six years ago. Cooking dinner was the least Light could do.

With a grunt Light's father, Soichiro, rose from his over-stuffed recliner and shut off the television.

"Thank you," he said, hand on Light's shoulder, words unsaid in his eyes, before turning to leave to his study.

"No problem," Light murmured. He found himself alone in the living room, abandoned. He let out a long sigh before getting to work.

He walked over to the kitchen's fridge and pulled out ingredients for dinner. He slapped a slab of beef onto a cutting board and began to slice it while he let his mind run astray. His wolf was the first thing to come to mind. For a moment, he once again contemplated the possibility that he was responsible for the death of Sam Gulley. The thought was quickly snubbed out of Light's head. No, his wolf wasn't a man killer. He would never hurt anyone.

After chopping up all the ingredients and placing the stew to simmer on the stove, Light rushed to grab his coat from the hooks on the wall, scraps of meat in his hand. He pulled open the sliding door to the deck, cool air bit his cheeks and the tips of his ears, a reminder that winter was coming. From the deck, he surveyed the woods in search of his wolf.

Light found him, watching from behind the swing set, slightly hidden behind the trees, nostrils sniffing toward the meat in his hand. The piece of beef felt cold and slick in Light's hand as he cautiously walked over to him, crunching out the brittle leaves beneath his feet.

Above him, the skies were a violent pink with purple and bleeding slashes of orange. The world outside him was a stark contrast to the comfort of his home. It was an untamed land where creatures fought to survive and did not possess the luxuries he had.

As Light neared his wolf, he caught sight of something that made him stop dead in his tracks and his heart jolt. The wolf's chin was crusted with blood. Some of it was splattered across his paws and chest.

The wolf's nostrils still moved, smelling the meat in the boy's hand. Light wasn't sure if the smell of food lured him out of the woods or the familiarity of his presence. He walked a few steps more-closer than he had ever been.

Light was near enough to reach out and touch his ebony fur. Or brush the stain of red on his snout.

The boy wanted so badly for the blood to belong to some deer or be his, a scratch earned by a scuffle, and not from Sam.

"Did you kill him?" Light whispered.

The wolf didn't disappear at the sound of his voice, as expected. Instead, he stood still with gray eyes carefully watching Light's face.

"It's all over the news," the boy continued as if the wolf understood, "Everyone's talking about it. They say wolves did it.  _Did you do it_?"

The wolf stared at him for a minute longer with wide, unblinking eyes before he closed them. After six years of an unblinking gaze, they were finally closed in an almost human grief; brilliant eyes closed, head ducked, and tailed lowered.

It made Light's heart ache.

Slowly, the boy moved, approaching the wolf. He didn't stir except for the flinch of his long ears, acknowledgment of Light's presence. His beautiful eyes were still closed. Silently, Light dropped the meat at the wolf's great paws. He was close enough to smell his wildness and feel his warmth.

Then, Light did what he had always wanted to do-he put his hand onto his dense, ebony ruff, and when he didn't move, buried his fingers beneath it to feel the downy fluff underneath. With a muffled groan, the wolf placed his head against the boy's hand, eyes still closed. It went everything against his instincts. He should have run way before the boy got close.

Light couldn't believe what was happening. After so many years of watching his wolf come and go, after all the attempts to get close.  _He was finally here_. Light held him as if he was a friendly, family dog but his sharp, wild scent didn't let forget what he really was. After a few moments, Light felt his heart relax and his muscles become less tense. The fear of the wolf snapping back at him long forgotten. There was a sense of peace between the two.

But it did not last.

Some movement behind the trees caught Light's eyes. Hidden behind the snarl of bush and trees, the white she-wolf watched them. Silent and graceful, a lurking predator, full of fangs and full of malice. He felt a rumble beneath his palm as he realized his wolf was growling at her. Instead of falling back to the woods like any other wolf would have done, she haughtily moved closer. The ebony wolf twisted in Light's arms to snap at her, causing the boy to jump backwards in surprise.

She never growled back and somehow that made Light feel even more uneasy. Her dark eyes bore into Light's – wanting and claiming.

The ebony wolf continued a low rumble, urging her to leave, while he nuzzled Light back to the safety of his home. Light let the wolf push him back, feeling an electric, tangible danger in the air. His heart was beating like a bird's flapping wings, leaden dread coiled in his belly.

The she wolf's gaze never left Light as she watched from the edge of the woods as slowly and carefully climbed up the steps of his deck. Light's hand found the handle and he pulled it open to step inside. As soon as Light stood in the safety of his home, the she-wolf darted forward and snatched the piece of meat he left outside.

Her feral gaze met Light's again from behind the other side of the glass door. She held it for what seemed to be an eternity before slipping back into the woods like a spirit.

Light's wolf hesitated at the fringe of woods. His gray eyes looking at the human with a certain longing, and after a while, he too slipped seamlessly into the trees.

Light placed his hand against the chilled glass, staring into the darkness of the woods.

* * *

x L x

I could still smell him on my fur. _Oh, so sweet and intoxicating._ I'm drowning in it. It made my blood sing and my heart leap.

My instincts screamed of danger, reminding me of that winter of six years ago.

I tried to stay away, diluting myself to a longer distance, a feeble attempt at preventing his overdose. But I always found my way back to him. He was my summer in winter, warmness in a dead world.  _My Light._

  
  



	2. Storm Eyes

Clair de Lune

Chapter Two

Storm Eyes

 

 

Sam Gulley became the most popular kid at school the day after he died.

He had always been quite popular, best known for driving the most expensive car in the whole town of Lakewood Falls and not known to be the nicest person. Actually, he was a jerk. But when he was killed- instant sainthood- especially with a death as bloody and gruesome as his. The school was in a state of mild grief and buzzing with indiscreetly hushed gossip. By third period, I had heard thousands of versions of his story. All of them, most likely untrue.

But one thing was for certain: Everyone was terrified of the wolves now.

I, however, floated through classes; all I could think about was the feel of my wolf's fur under my hand and the cold eyes of the she-wolf. When I finally reached the last class of the day- Law Studies - I sat down and stared out the classroom's window, desperately wanting this day to be over. The day had gone by in a molasses pace, filled with drama and mindless gossip- even more so than usual.

I snapped to attention when our teacher, Mrs. Gray, led a policeman into the classroom and in front of our Law Studies class. I recognized him immediately as Touta Matsuda, who worked with my father in the police force. I pitied the poor man, left alone at the front of a class of rowdy high school students. His awkward smile and fidgeting stance clearly indicated unease.

"Hi," Matsuda started. He gripped the sides of his gun belt which bristled with holsters, pepper spray, and assorted weaponry. Beneath his uniform and assortment of weapons, he looked young, probably enough so to fit into the classroom full of teenagers. He glanced toward Mrs. Gray who hovered unhelpfully by the door of the classroom. He kept shifting his weight like a boxer ready to fight.

"I'm Detective Matsuda. Your teacher, Mrs. Gray, wanted me to talk to you guys."

His eyes scanned the room until he found me. He shot a smile towards my direction to which I politely returned. Mastuda was a good guy, though naive and a bit of an idiot at times. Despite his klutziness, he sometimes managed to find breakthrough evidence on cases.

With a smile, Matsuda turned away to continue.

"I became a detective right after high school. It's a job I've always wanted and one I take very seriously. It's an excellent career path. Are- uh- any of you considering going into law enforcement?"

The _, uh,_  killed him. If it wasn't for that tiny stumble, the class might have behaved.

A hand whipped up, Sarah, one of Lakewood Falls High School 's most dullest people I know. "Is it true that Sam Gulley's body was stolen from the morgue?" She batted her wide eyes, dotted with mascara.

Matsuda mouth made a perfect 'o' for a moment while he thought of a response to say, caught aback by the abruptness of the question. Sam's family was a wealthy and prominent part of Lakewood Falls. Everyone was just dying to hear the latest secrets and scandals that slipped behind those mansion walls.

"I'm not really authorized to talk about the details of an ongoing investigation," he answered but the apologetic and unassertive look in his eyes just encouraged the class to keep pressing questions.

"So there's an investigation going on?" a voice from the front of the class asked.

Sarah was quick to follow back. "So it's true someone stole his body? Why would someone steal a body?"

The class chimed in with theories.

"It's probably a cover-up for a suicide!"

"I heard he was using drugs!"

"Medical experimentation!"

Matsuda sent a helpless look my way as he visibly cowered, looking utterly aghast. He then shot a pleading look to Mrs. Gray who was still observing the rising chaos from the door with an annoyed expression. She sighed before yelling "Quiet down!"

And the class did.

Mrs. Gray turned back to Matsuda, "So was his body stolen?" she asked.

Matsuda again said he wasn't allowed to disclose any information regarding an ongoing case but this time he sounded less confident and more helpless as if there was a question mark at the end of his sentence.

"Detective Matsuda", Mrs. Gray continued," Sam was a great part of the community. A good friend to us all. We just want to know what happened to him."

Bullshit.

A complete lie. Death did wonders to a reputation. It seemed like everyone forgot how Sam would lose his temper in the middle of class or fuck every girl at school. But hey, Lakewood Falls was a small town even the slightest hint something interesting was going on stirred up gossip and rumors.

When Matsuda still looked reluctant to say anything, she then added, "We're mourning," gesturing toward the class," This isn't about an investigation but what happened to someone who was so dear to us."

Matsuda wearily sighed, finally looking like he was going to give in. And he did. "It's true." There was a collective gasp from the class. "But I can't say anything else. I ask for everyone to respect the privacy and confidentiality of the family and investigation."

Why would his body be stolen? What for? Sam was nothing special, just a regular high school boy who would probably do nothing with his life. Unless, there was something beyond a wolf attack. Perhaps, there was no wolf attack after all- a cover-up. But for what?

I'll have to hack into my father's police files after school. But something tells even the police don't have much of a clue of what's going on either. Despite the influence of Sam's father, there must have been something on the news if anything significant happened during the investigation.

Matsuda looked like he was finally regaining his confidence as he straightened his posture and loosened the tight grasp on his gun belt.

Sarah waved her hand again. "Do you think the wolves are dangerous? My mom says they attack people all the time and you get a lot of calls and complaints about them."

"Uh, well, I - and the rest of the police department- don't think the wolves are dangerous. This was a very rare and isolated incident."

"But he was attacked too."

Oh, fucking lovely. Sarah was pointing at me and the whole class had turned to stare. I bit the inside of my lip and tried not to look annoyed. I wasn't bothered by the stares- it was something I was used to being the most popular kid at school. What truly bothered me was the thought everyone remembered what had happened and that the same thing could happen to them. My incident made them afraid. And I wondered how many more attacks it will take until they finally decide to go after the wolves.

Secretly, I felt angry at Sam for dying. His death caused a whole mess of things and above all, was putting the wolves in danger. I wasn't supposed to be feeling this. I was supposed to feel horrid about what happened and be mourning like the others. I was supposed to share their fear of the wolves especially considering I barely escaped an attack myself.

"It was a long time ago," I put on a faux smile and told the class. Matsuda seemed relived I was taking this so well, he probably thought the incident traumatized me. I then added, "It was years ago. And it was probably feral dogs any way."

I was lying. So, what's new?

"Exactly," Matsuda said, stance finally confident. "There's no sense in making animals into villains, especially in a case were the details are unclear to what exactly happened, it just causes panic and brings more incidents."

My thoughts exactly. I couldn't help but like Matsuda a bit more as he finally steered the conversation into a different direction.

The students seemed reluctant to move on from the topic of the wolf attack, but eventually transitioned out of it. Class ran smoothly for the rest of the period. Matsuda lectured about the perks of being a small-town detective, students participated when necessary, and for a moment, the wolves were forgotten. But dread steeled itself into me, telling me this wasn't the end of it.

* * *

x Light x

It had been a week since I had run my fingers through my wolf's coat, the last time I saw him.

I stood in the kitchen, dying sunlight gently streaming in through the window above the sink, as I heated up leftover soup for dinner. Sam Gulley's death became somewhat forgotten but the attention had turned to the wolves. People were scared and angry, they wanted to kill the wolves responsible. Which really meant killing all of them.

The town kept pushing for the hunting law to be lifted. And it frightens me how close they are to being able to hunt down every last wolf in these woods.

I went to my back glass door which led out to the deck and opened it, wanting to smell a bit of fresh air. Outside, it was almost sunset. Everything was bathed in a swathe of golden light. I leaned against the molding wooden railings of the deck, still moist from rain, inhaling the woods' scent. The bite in the breeze promised of an oncoming winter, but the day was still warm with the memory of summer. The peace didn't last for long.

An earth-shattering scream disrupted the sky.

From the distance beyond the sun-dipped trees, the scream came again. For a second, I thought it belonged to an animal but then the cry formed itself to words, unmistakably human: "Help! Help! Someone help me!"

My heart lurched and I felt a familiar dread sink in, it sounded like Sam Gulley.

It couldn't be. I must have imagined it, remembering his booming voice rise above the school cafeteria's cacophony as he catcalled girls passing by. It couldn't be him.

Still, my legs moved on their own accord towards the scream. Leaves and twigs crunched and snapped underneath my shoes as I moved impulsively across my yard and into the woods, their crashing sound drowned out the other sounds. I stopped, hesitated, and strained my ears for the sound again. I stood for a long moment, listening to any indication of where the sound was coming from.

There was nothing but silence.

In that silence, the smell of crushed pine needles and wet earth reminded me of my wolf. I didn't care how idiotic it was, I was this far into the woods. Going a little farther couldn't be too disastrous. I needed to find where that sound was coming from. Farther and farther, my strides took me deeper into the woods.

All around me, the Earth was dying beautifully. Leaves fell red and orange; crows cawed overhead with gravel voices; the smell of earth generously filled my lungs.

I kept walking farther into the snarl of wilderness. Its beauty was enchanting and captivating. I kept going until I was the farthest I was in six years, when I woke up surrounded by wolves. But I didn't feel afraid.

I stepped carefully, over the snaking branches and brush. The woods felt so familiar and safe. I glided across the forest floor with ease, confident and assured, following the shallow, trodden paths used by wolves over and over again. My senses sharpened and became efficient, the fall breeze carried information like maps, telling me which animals had been here. My ears picked up the slightest rustles, a bird fidgeting in its nest, the timid steps of a deer yards away.

I felt at peace.

The unfamiliar cry rang out once again, piercing the forest's natural silence. I stopped and listened. The cries and whimpers came again, louder.

Rounding a nook of clustered trees, I stumbled upon the source: three wolves. It was the white she-wolf and a high-ranked male; the sight of the she-wolf made my stomach painfully twist. The two wolves had pinned a smaller male beneath them, snarling over him in a display of dominance. The pinned male had a scraggly gray coat which was covered with ugly, running wounds. The smell of blood pierced the air with sour, coppery notes.

They all froze when they saw me. The pinned male twisted his head to face me, eyes entreating. I knew those eyes. I had seen them at school; displayed on my television screen.

"Sam?" I whispered.

He continued to stare at me with hazel eyes. Did wolves have hazel eyes? They looked…wrong. Like they didn't belong. As I stared deep into the wolf's orbs, one word kept singing in my head:

_human, human, human._

The large male sent a warning snarl in my direction; his golden-gray coat bristled. He snapped at the pinned male, letting him up and sending him off. The she-wolf's eyes remained on me the whole time. They were dark-almost black- and spoke of something I did not understand.

Memories from six years ago bombarded my thoughts - images of graying skies overhead and snow splattered with blood.  _My blood._  I had moved on from the incident, refusing to be hindered by it, to live in cowering fear. But there were times the memory of fear came back to me. I had felt so helpless and afraid.  _I loathed that feeling._ And I didn't want to feel it ever again.

Dizziness and panic overwrought my sense but by the time I remembered of the pocketknife in my pant pocket, the three wolves were nothing but smudges in the trees. A long sigh of relief escaped my lungs.

No longer under the scrutiny of the wolves' suffocating gaze, I had wondered if I imagined Sam's likeness in the wolf. I never really paid attention to him at school before. I must have been misremembering the color of his eyes on that wolf. What was I thinking? That he turned into a wolf?

Yes, that was exactly what I was thinking.

I let out a long, weary sigh. I couldn't believe what I was thinking, I, Light Yagami, prodigy and best student in probably the whole United States just imagined a boy became a wolf. I was never one to believe in fairy tales or myths, they always annoyed me with their grandiose fantasies and pure fiction. Facts, statistics, and logic were what I heavily relied on. Yet, I could still imagine Sam in that wolf. I think I'm going insane.

But those eyes, I clearly remembered them. The voice, I heard it. The voice belonged to Sam. I couldn't have imagined the human screams and pained cries.

My head spun, thoughts running rampant through my head in a feeble attempt to find any logic in this. My throat tightened and my heart beats like an unrelenting drum. Dread creeps in on little cat feet, whispering of things I have yet to understand.

_There's a secret in these woods._

* * *

x Light x

That night, I lay in bed and stared out my window. A full moon was cradled by the obsidian sky. Fiery stars danced and twinkled with white light. Moonlight embroidered my sheets casting them a silvery glow.

Outside, deep in the woods a long, keening wail and then another, pervades the night as the wolves began to howl. More voices pitch in; some are low and mournful; other high and short; an eerie and beautiful symphony. I recognized my wolf's voice; deep and silken. It sang out above the other as if begging me to hear it.

I didn't sleep until every wolf had fallen silent.

* * *

x Light x

"Do you think we could go out tonight? Like watch a movie or something." Mihael asked as he slammed his locker closed, arm filled with books. His silken, golden hair was pulled in a messy ponytail and a beaded rosary hung loosely around his neck. He wore long leather boots, on Mihael, the look sort of worked. He always had the strangest taste in fashion.

Mihael Keehl was louder than a choir boy on Sunday morning, screeching out gospel hymns. And would swear like a sailor as he tore through Lakewood Falls like the devil himself. The boy's full of contradictions. He was the type of person who would get on his knees-rosary in hand- and pray and  _actually mean it_. But after saying his prayers, he would just go out once more to spit, curse, and set this town on fire- to let the remains smolder. The boy's a holy horror.

"I'm not sure. Maybe. I have some studying to do," I answered politely, not to keen on the idea of watching a movie.

"Don't fucking lie to me, Yagami. I know don't need to do a lick of studying and still get a perfect score on your test." One of the things I liked about Mihael was that he was always so brutally honest, never dancing around words.

"It's always good to review," I said, because unlike Mihael, I'm not honest. Mihael's icy blue eyes locked with mine, trying to find the lies in my eyes. But he's not going to find anything, for I have perfected the art of lying a long time ago.

"Whatever," he grumbled and after a moment, opened his mouth to speak again. "So, what did you think about the incident with the wolves?" He was hesitant when he asked, remembering my experience with wolves. I just loathed how everyone treated me like fine china because of the attack, dancing around me with hushed tones, afraid that I might break.

"I don't think Sam is dead," there, I said it bluntly.

" _What?"_

"Yesterday, I heard screams coming from the woods behind my house. They sounded like him…like Sam. So, I followed them until I found were they originated from. I didn't find him; instead I found three wolves there. They were right in front of me but didn't do anything but… stare, then they left, just like that."

"Holy fucking shit, Light! You could have been killed!"

"Wolves are harmless and what happened was just an example of that."

"Harmless?! Light you were almost killed by them and just yesterday Sam was killed! They're dangerous and attack people!"

"Quiet down, you're making a scene," I hissed, we started accumulating stares from hallway passerby's. This wasn't good. The fear of the wolves was spreading like a plague. It won't be long before they would send hunting parties after them.

"Do you think I fucking care?" Mihael sighed when I didn't answer. "Which wolves were they?"

Mihael had memorized all their wolves and personalities from stories and observations I would sometimes share with him. I wasn't eager to share my information about the wolves but when the topic comes up, I always give a bit of input.

"The white she-wolf and the gray-blonde male… and a new one."

"A new one?"

I debated whether or not to tell him that the new wolf resembled Sam. Mihael was the only one interested in the wolves in our circle of friends, I didn't know who else to tell. Even inside my head, the words sounded crazy. But ever since yesterday, I have been haunted by thoughts that, perhaps, there was something more than wolves lurking in the woods.  _And fuck, I'm going insane_. At this rate, with the way I'm thinking, I'll be locked up in a mental institution by next week. Enough with this nonsense.

The words felt heavy on my tongue, threatening to tumble out. I swallowed them down like a bitter pill.

"Yeah, I've never seen him before," I said.

"Oh…cool," he was beginning to lose interest, his eyes began to wonder to the school's exit," maybe when can go take pictures of him some other time. I've got a lot of homework to do. See 'ya."

Mihael turned to leave without another word and I was left alone in a hallway swarming with students on their way home. Behind me, I could hear the clacking of heels. The scent of expensive perfume –smelling sweet and sticky- hit me before I turned around to face Misa Amane.

She was clothed in articles of black. She wore a frilly black dress, black heels, and black ribbons. Her usual childness was replaced with a solemn air. Misa was Sam Gulley's half-sister. She was the product of her father's business trip to Japan to which he brought back a pregnant girlfriend and divorce papers. It was strange to see her so serious, she looked like a dainty porcelain doll with her dull, blue eyes and goth Lolita outfit.

"Hello, Light," her voice was small and weary.

"Misa, I'm so sorry for what happened," I hugged her and she fell limp into my embrace. A hug seemed appropriate for this occasion. Misa and I used to date, even as her ex-boyfriend it was still required of me to show her compassion.

She pulled away from my, tears running down her pretty face, a mix of salt and mascara.

"I heard you guys talking about the wolves," she started; a hint of betrayal steeled themselves into her teary eyes. "You know there has to be something done about them? Those things are monsters."

"They're not monsters-

"Yes they are! They killed my brother!" She was in hysterics, clutching her chest as big, fat tears continued to fall. I felt a twinge of anger in my heart as she villainies the wolves. Yet, I understood her reaction. She collapsed into me and I held her, gently stroking her blonde hair as I tried to soothe her.

I felt her mumble something into my shoulder. I pulled her away to ask what she had said. Misa looked at me with watery orbs filled of despair.

"They're killing the wolves today. Right now."

She slipped out of my now-slacken grasp and glided to the school's exit. For a single moment, I stood dumbstruck, pulling her words apart and putting them back together again. And without thought, I left.

I was breathless by the time I slide behind the wheel of my car, Misa's words playing over and over again in my head. I had never thought of my wolves as vulnerable, but once I started imagining what a small-town attorney and big-time egomaniac like Misa's father, Ryan Gulley, was capable of- fueled by pent-up anger and grief, helped along by influence- they suddenly seemed terribly fragile. As if they were made of paper instead of flesh and fangs.

I stabbed my key into the ignition. My old, battered truck (obviously not my choice of vehicle) wheezed and rattled as it tried to come to life. Streams of loud, bustling students exited the school and filed into aging, yellow school buses, knots and clusters of other teens marched along the sidewalk. I paid no attention to them, my mind filled with images of the woods behind my home. Was a hunting party going after the wolves? Right now?

I had to get home.

My car stalled, my foot uncertain on the dodgy clutch. The truck gasped to a halt, I hoped no one noticed. My car's long life was coming to an end but I could still finesse the clutch and get on the road without too much humiliation. I tried to compose myself but anxiety stirred within me.

As I drove, pushing my car as hard as I dared, my stomach twisted with nerves. The engine let out unhealthy groans as it overheated. Damn car. If only my father would take me to the dealership to find a car that actually worked, which he promised me so many times before.

The sky burned brilliantly red on the horizon, turning thin clouds into streaks of blood above the trees. On either sides of the road, were endless woods. Inside of me roiled a thunderstorm screaming of danger. I could sense a change in the autumn air and it made my hands unsteady. The breeze grew colder and bit with a snake's fangs.

Up ahead, a line of pick-up trucks parked by the side of the road. A few men leaned against the trucks, can beer in hand and clad in camouflage, seeming to be lost in conversation.  _Hunters._  The word sent shivers down my spine and made my heart painfully twist. Behind the border of trees, I could see others trudging through the woods- weapons in hand. My stomach kept churning like an unrelenting sea and dread consumed me as I eased off the gas, coasting to the side of the road in an eerie quiet.

With shaky hands, I parked my car behind the pick-up trucks. I numbly climbed out the vehicle and abruptly turned at the sound of a car door close behind me. Another truck had pulled in, two hunters, wearing neon orange caps, steeped out of the vehicle and made their way to the dozens of hunters knotted on the side of the road. All of them were carrying rifles, visibly restless, and conversing among themselves with muffled voices.

As I approached them, I steeled myself. A few of them turned to me curiously when I came closer. Putting on a faux smile I approached a middle-aged hunter who looked friendly enough.

"Is this for the wolves?" I asked, successfully concealing the horror wracking my head. They shouldn't be here. I'm sure this is an unauthorized hunting party.

"It's-"

There was a loud crack from the woods behind him; both of us jerked at the sound.

"What was that?" I demanded. But I already knew.  _Gunshot_. My voice was surprisingly steady. "They're hunting the wolves aren't they?"

The man sighed, knowing he had been caught joining something illegal. "Look kid, you should go home. It's dangerous out here."

There were distant shouts in the woods, more gunshots were heard. Oh God. The wolves.  _My wolf._  I grabbed the hunter by the arm. "Tell them to stop! They can't shoot back there!"

"Kid-"

More shots rang out; each one was a dagger to the heart. In my head, was a clear image of my wolf outstretched in the dirt, paws positioned to run, a gaping bullet wound to his side, ebony fur stained crimson. I had to stop them. In an instant, I formulated a plan. "I have a friend in there! He was going to take pictures in the woods today. Please, you have to stop them!"

"What?" The hunter froze. "There's someone in there? Are you sure?"

"Yes," I breathed. "Please, call it off before he gets hurt! If you don't, I'll tell my father, he's the sheriff."

The hunter stared at me with wide eyes at the mention of my father's title in law enforcement. I hated to pull up my father's rank like some spoiled child, but the situation called for it. The hunter hesitated for a second more before quickly pulling out a cell phone from his pant pocket with concerned gray brows. He dialed a number into the phone and held it to his ear and after a while he furrowed his brows and frowned. "Reception," he muttered.

I shivered, not only from the cold but from the anxiety and fear coursing through me.

The hunter just shook his head. "Sorry, kid. No reception but I'll keep trying. Don't worry, though. They'll be really careful they won't shoot a person. I'll go ahead and warn them. Just please… don't tell your father."

Another gunshot came from the woods but this time something snapped inside me. I couldn't wait. I couldn't just wait here while they slaughtered my wolves. I ran, the hunter called after me but I continued on into the woods. I had to stop them. I had to save my wolf.

But as I ran, slipping between trees and jumping over fallen limbs, all I could think was  _I'm too late_.

* * *

x L x

We ran.

We were silent apparitions weaving through trees; the shouts of men and smell of gunpowder pervaded the air. Hunting hounds chased after us barking and howling somewhere in the distance.

The woods I knew, where I found safety, turned in something sinister and dangerous. Strange, sharp smells punctured the air. Beneath my running paws, the earth was unfamiliar, uncharted and untouched by us.

It was terrifying to not know where I was.

We traded simple images amongst ourselves in our wordless language: dark figures behind us, figures topped with bright warnings, carrying weapons- they smelled of death.

The pack was not running on human logic, the wolf instinct had taken over and driven us to run aimlessly. A ' _crack'_  caused me to stumble, losing my pace for less than a second. I heard a whimper behind me. Without, looking back I knew who it was but I didn't stop; there was nothing to do even if I had.

Everything was bright, sharp, and terrifying.

A new scent hit my nostrils: earthly rot and stagnant water. The lake. In a brief moment of human clarity, I realized the hunter's design- to flush us out of the safety of the trees and to the barren lake's coast- so they can kill us there.

I struggled to keep a grasp on my fading humanity as the wolf part of me screamed:

_Danger! Danger! Danger!_

I scrambled amongst the pack, attempting to guide them away from the water. But they were unyielding, too consumed by a raw, animalistic fear. There was no room for reason. So I tried my best to keep them together, all the while screaming images of danger towards them, begging to be listened.

I formed a clear image in my head at the same time Watari, the pack leader did -the slow, rippling edge of the water, thin pines growing sparse in the poor soil, the lake stretching out forever in both directions.

A pack of wolves huddled at the shore. No escape.

We were hunted. We slid before them like ghosts in the woods, and fell along with the sound of gunfire, whether or not we fought.

The others kept running towards the lake. But I stopped amongst the chaos, hesitating before letting my instincts take me to safety.

* * *

x Light x

These were not the golden woods I walked in a few days earlier, painted with fiery colors and filled with life. These woods were dark with barren, decaying trees that smelt of rot. The leaves no longer crunched beneath my feet; instead they stayed limp -dead. The natural flow of the forest no longer guided me. All of its natural trails destroyed by crashing hunters in search of a kill. I was lost and disoriented in a dead, monotone wood, straining my ears for the familiar sound of marching hunters.

My lungs burned as I breathed in my opaque breaths. I coughed and sputtered as I ran; the cold was gripping my throat as my eyes become bleary. Up ahead, I spotted hunters in their neon orange caps amongst the trees, moving relentlessly in the same direction, making crashing sounds, driving the wolves before them.

"Stop!" I shouted. Their outlines became clearer as I ran towards them until I could see the engraved insignia's on their guns. A hunter suddenly turned to me, surprised. I hastily approached him, in the darkness of the woods it was hard to make out features but he seemed vaguely familiar to me, though I couldn't remember where in town I saw him. His face, older and lined, stared at me with a peculiar expression as he examined me up and down.

"What are you doing here?"

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I was so out of breath that I struggled to articulate words. "You…have…to…stop. My… friend is in these woods. He had gone out to take pictures.

His brows furrowed as he turned to survey the dark woods. "Here?"

"Yes, now!" I snapped. "You have to tell the others to stop. It's dark out here. They won't see him."

He stared at me for another agonizing moment before nodding then reaching for a walkie-talkie from his belt. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion as he clicked the button down and spoke into it.

More shots rang out like a snarling thunder, closer than ever before. Startled birds scattered out of their trees, screeching and cawing above us. The forest itself seemed to bristle at the horrendous sound. It was like a nightmare. A viciously clear nightmare. I was trembling, my heart was beating so fast, I couldn't even think straight.

I could hear the sound of everything- bullets ringing out, fluttering of bird wings, the weeping of wolves. They were howling and howling for the life they took.

It stole the breath from my lungs;  _everything_.

I shut my eyes and slammed my hands over my ears-anything to not hear the wolves' crying.  _Oh God, please make it stop._  Their cries erupted somewhere among dark trees, piercing the air. It was such a sad sound. I could hear their anguish as they weep over their lost ones.

"My God, what is that noise?" The hunter beside my breathed, he gripped the barrel of his shotgun tighter, clearly uneasy- afraid.

In a sudden swell of emotion, all I could see was red. My body quaked with a deadly combination of anger, sorrow, and loss. These bastards killed my wolves! They destroyed everything. Monsters!

"You killed them! You killed them!" I yelled, swinging a fist at him, squaring him in the jaw.

He stumbled backward, nearly tripping fallen tree branches. I charged to continue my attack but someone grabbed my wrist.

It was hunter I had met earlier. Ragged breaths escaped my lips as he slowly released his grip on me.

"Calm down, kid. Alright? It's all over now. I already told everyone. The hunt has been called off."

Before I could reply he turned to the other hunter. "I heard those shots. And I'm pretty sure everyone else in Lakewood Falls heard them too. It's one thing to being doing this"-he gestured to hunter's gun-"and flaunting it for everyone else to know."

The man then turned back to me. "You said you're the sheriff's kid. I know the sheriff has a house right over there, at the edge of the woods." He pointed at the direction of home. The house was invisible behind a black tangle of trees.

"I'll escort you over there if you like. The woods are a dangerous place, especially when it's getting dark. I wouldn't want you to get hurt."

"I don't need an escort," I hissed, quietly seething. The cold air was quickly dropping as it bit my cheeks and the tips of my ears. Inside me, it felt just as cold. As if my beating heart was torn right out of me, warm blood to be replaced with grief and sorrow. Behind my eyes, I could see the image of my wolf-dead- outstretched on the bloodied dirt. The sound of gunfire still rang in my ears.

Was he really dead?

The thought caused tears to prick my eyes and it clutched my heart with an iron grip. I attempted my best to push the thought out of my head.

Without a word to the others, I walked home. The woods were quite except for the solitary calling of a crow. There was a stillness that felt eerily quiet. Nothing seemed to move.

At the edge of the woods, I stopped, looking at the dark windows of my home. Empty. No one was home. Father was at the police station, busy with a case and mother had taken Sayu to the mall to buy a new winter coat.

I inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of earth, leaves, and wood. My muscles ached and I was just so…tired. I longed for this day to end. It had been a vicious nightmare which left me weary and ragged. And as I stood in silence, a strange sound began to make itself known.

It was the sound of fast ragged breathing.

I froze, holding my breath.

I followed the sound, climbing cautiously onto the deck, painfully aware of each stair creaking beneath my weight. Fear gripped my throat as muscles tensed in fight or flight instinct. My clammy palms clutched the rusting pocket knife in my pants.

I smelled him before I saw him. My wolf. The wind carried his sharp, wild scent which smelled of summer rains and burning leaves.

My breath caught painfully in my throat as I moved closer, hesitantly, to find not a wolf but a boy. He was curled tightly on his side against my glass back door, gasping, whimpering, and shivering- naked. His stormy gray eyes-so familiar- flicked open at the sound of my approach, but he didn't move. Wide eyed, we locked our gazes.

It knocked the wind right out of me.

They were like twin black holes that took everything and gave nothing back. In their darkness, were whispers of an intelligent mind, endless and infinite like the universe itself. I knew these eyes. I knew him.

My wolf.

Bright, crimson blood was smeared across his shoulders and chest- deadly war paint. His scent was replaced by it, reminding me I was wasting time. In a sudden rush, I pulled my keys from my pocket and unlocked the door, steeping over his trembling form to get inside. I saw one of his bloodied hands reach out, snatching air, as he reached for me.

"I'll be right back," I promised him as he stared at me with his wide eyes. I wasn't sure if he understood when he rested his head against the wooden deck with a pained whimper. I hurried into the kitchen, tearing open a drawer in search for dish towels. I grabbed a wad and as I did I spotted my father's car keys on the counter, hastily thrown near a pile of police work paper. He must have carpooled with Aizawa, then. I snatched the keys, shoved them into my pockets, and ran over to the living room for the throw blanket.

I ran back out to find him shaking even more violently than before, blood pooling around him, his ivory skin covered in it. Dropping to my knees, I pressed a dishcloth to the gaping bullet hole in his chest. "Hold it," I told him, as I tried to apply another dishcloth to the bleeding graze on his shoulder. But to my horror, I saw his eyes fluttering, losing consciousness. Without thinking, I wrapped him in a blanket, holding his lithe body in my arms as I hastily carried him to my father's car. His warm blood seeped into my clothes and created a trail from the deck to the front of the house.

A hand clutched my shirt, his beautiful face pressed against my chest, stormy, wide eyes locked with my own. I held on to it as long as I could, but his eyes kept fluttering in and out of consciousness, head lolling back. And as I held him in my arms, I still couldn't believe that he was really here, as if all my child-like fantasies came true.

But whatever he was, he was here now, and I wasn't about to lose him.

* * *

x L x

I wasn't a wolf. But I wasn't Lawliet either.

I was caught somewhere amongst the fray of two lives. Jumbled out of context, my consciousness possessed no logic or awareness. My thoughts did not come in words but in images, a collection of my life: a golden boy on his swing, warm light streaming from the blinds of a quaint bookstore, the howling of wolves in a frozen wood –summer to winter and then summer to winter again.

The first thing my darkened mind latched to was his scent. I was lost, to be found by him. My Light. I was consumed by his beautiful perfection and his warmness. His mouth was moving in a rapid formation of words but I didn't understand anything he said. The human language spilling from his lips was familiarly unfamiliar.

In the distance, hidden behind twilight trees, the mournful sounds of wolves could be heard. My heart longed to join them once more as I felt the change pump through my veins, yet another part of me fought to stay in this human skin.

I shuddered and gasped and sighed. My blood pooled around me, the only warmth in the cold autumn air, other than the heat radiating off the boy. Through the smell of blood and my fading mind, I heard him say:

"Hold on. Hold on"

And I did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please comment, fav, follow, etc.! :)


	3. Human

Clair de Lune

Chapter 3

Human

 

 

The best thing about staring at a sedated person is that they don't know you're doing it.

He was a fragile looking thing. Strange, how such a beastly creature can become this paper-thin angel before me. A snarling mess of ebony fringe framed his gaunt face which had a complexion of freshly fallen virgin snow. Beneath the sterile hospital sheets, the jaggedness of his hips and slope of his ribs were made prominent. Long, dark lashes rested beneath his eyes while his plump lips remained parted.

He was beautiful.

"Oh, sweetie, you're still here? I thought you'd left?"

I turned my attention to the stout nurse parting the green hospital curtains, our thin veil of privacy was now disturbed. Her name tag read Grace.

"I'm staying here until he wakes up," I sternly said, clutching the side of the hospital bed as if to show they would have to physically pry me off.

Grace smiled pityingly at me. "He's been heavily sedated. He won't wake until the morning."

"Then that's how long I'm waiting." I replied with air finality.

I've already waited hours in the hospital's dingy waiting room while they removed the bullets and stitched up the wounds; it was probably around midnight by now. Shit. My parents. But then it occurred to me that they haven't bothered to call me. Perhaps they left a text, I thought as I reached for my cell phone in my pants' pockets.

I turned on the phone to reveal a text from my mother that read:

_We won't be home until around 1:00 A.M. Traffic is horrible and I have to pick up some groceries on my way home. Dad is pulling an all-nighter at the station. Sorry. :C_

_Remember to be safe. Love U. :)_

With a sigh of relief, I placed my phone back into my pocket.

"You know he's awfully lucky to be alive. The bullet narrowly missed his heart by a less than an inch and he had lost a lot of blood on the way here. You saved his life." Her eyes glittered as she observed him. "Do you know why he did it?"

I frowned. "I'm sorry, what do you mean? I found him in the woods. "

"Oh, sweetie, you and I both know he wasn't in the woods."

I raised a brow, waiting for her to say something else but she didn't. With a bit of irritation, I said, "He was in the woods. A hunter accidently shot him." It wasn't a lie. Except that the hunter didn't 'accidently' shoot him.

Grace once again gave me a pitying look; the one adults give to teenagers when they think they don't understand. "Look…Light. It is Light, isn't it? Are you his friend?"

I grunted in a way that can be interpreted as either yes or no, depending on which the listener was leaning to.

Grace took it as a yes. "I know you're really close to him, but he needs help."

Realization dawned on me. I scoffed. "You think he tried to kill himself?"

She glared at me, her infiltrating smile finally wiped clean. "You think we're stupid? That we wouldn't see this?" On the other side of the bed, she took one of my wolf's thin, limp arms and turned it so his pale palm faced me. She gestured at the scars on his wrist with a raised brow.

My eyes widened at the deep, purposeful wounds that encircled his tiny wrist. I shook my head and tore my gaze off them; I couldn't bear to even look at them. "Those…are from before I knew him. He…he didn't try to kill himself. A hunter shot him."

"Sure, sweetie. Just let me know if you need anything." Grace hummed with a certain haughtiness as she closed the green curtains and left.

Face flushed, I stared at the white-knuckled grip on the hospital bed, seething.

A second after the nurse was gone, my wolf's eyes flicked open, causing me to jump, heart beating impossibly fast. I watched –dumbstruck- as his eyes drowsily rolled to meet mine.

My voice came out quieter than I excepted when I managed to choke out, "You're supposed to be asleep."

"W…where am I?" His voice sent pleasant shivers down my spine. It was smooth as velvet and luxuriously deep. I could've sworn there was a slight purr in it. "Who are you?"

Pain stabbed my chest as I realized he might not remember his time as a wolf- that he completely forgot of my existence.

"I-I think I know you. You seem familiar," He said.

Long, spidery fingers reached out toward mine, and I automatically intertwined my fingers in his without thought. With curious wide eyes, he pulled my hand toward his nose and took a sniff, then another. A small, shy smile graced his lips. It was impossibly adorable, and I felt my face burn- dammit. "I know you. I apologize… it takes a while for my brain to come back."

He didn't release my fingers, nor did I release his. And I didn't want to. But it was difficult to concentrate when his skin was touching mine. "Come back from what?" I asked though I already knew the inevitable answer.

"Come back from when," he corrected. "Come back from when I was…"

He couldn't say it, the words caught somewhere in his throat to only dissolve and disappear.

"When you were a wolf," I whispered. "What made you turn human?"

"It's spring. It's warm. The warmth makes me human."

I finally pulled my hand away and closed my eyes, trying to gather what was left of my sanity. I opened my eyes and spoke, "It's not spring. It's September."

His brilliant eyes widened. "That's not good," he said, his thumb pursed between his lips. "Can I ask you a favor?"

I bristled when he spoke. My mind was struggling to hold onto reality, still trying to find any logic in this. Theories filled up my head, some lead to a sense of existential dread, others to nightmarish dreams. And I sat there, feeling the crashing of panic against my skull like violent ocean waves against the jagged face of a cliff.

Somewhere and somehow in my mildly panicked state, I found words and spoke them with surprising levelness.

"What's the favor?" I asked, not even realizing I had uttered a word until my wolf spoke.

"I need your assistance to escape this place before they find out what I really am."

"And that is?"

"Werewolf…lycanthrope….shape-shifter, take your pick. But honestly, I'm not too sure myself," he said as he began to sit up with a pained groan and pry at his dressings.

"Hey don't touch that! You can't just leave; you almost died for crying out loud!"

I reached forward to seize his hand before he can cause anymore damage to himself but it was too late. He peeled away the gauze to reveal new stitches dotting a short line through healing scar tissue. There was no fresh wound oozing blood, no evidence of a gunshot except for a shiny, pink scar. It took every shred of self-control not to simply gawk, wide-mouthed.

He slyly grinned, clearly amused by my reaction. "Understand the urgency to leave, now?"

"But that's not possible…there was so much blood."

"Correct, my wounds would not have healed so rapidly if it weren't for the stitches I received."

Dumbfounded, I reached forward to touch the pink ridge of the scar. My fingers traced the firm skin, somehow convincing me more than his words could ever have. His milky skin was smooth silk. Beneath my fingers, I felt the steady rhythm of his beating heart. I could still smell his sharp, wild scent. And in a sudden rush, the fact that the boy before me was my wolf finally settled in mind.

"Okay, I will help you out of here but they will just track you down."

"No they won't. They'll just assume I'm a derelict without insurance."

I frowned. "No, they'll think you left in order to escape counseling. They think you tried to commit suicide."

His face into furrowed into a puzzled expression.

With a sigh, I gestured to his scarred wrists.

He turned his gaze toward them, gingerly rubbing the scars with the pads of his thumbs, his face completely devoid of emotion. I suddenly felt guilty for bringing the scars up but instead of saying something like, "Its okay, I understand" or "You can talk to me about it, I won't judge," I remained silent. Because really, I couldn't possibly understand and I, myself, didn't want to talk about it either.

"I didn't do this," he murmured in a flat voice.

I sat silently, expecting him to continue but he just remained silent with a deadpanned expression. We sat in this tense silence for a few moments, until I spoke.

"We need to get out of here," I stated the obvious, reminding ourselves of the task at hand.

He hummed in agreement before lifting his arm and in one swift motion, knocking the pitcher of water on the nightstand all over my pants.

"What the fuck was that for?!" I exclaimed in indignation as cold water seeped into my clothing, causing the fabric to uncomfortably stick to my legs.

"I need clothes. Go ask a nurse for some scrubs," he said without a hint of guilt, if anything the glint in his eyes was of amusement.

I glared at him before pressing a red button above his bed to summon a nurse. To which I embarrassedly asked to bring me some scrubs as he pretended to still be asleep. When the nurse finally brought back the scrubs and left, I chucked them at his head.

He slid the scrubs beneath the thin hospital sheet, wrestling them on. Then, he tugged the rest of the offending dressings off himself and the blood pressure cuff on his arm. As the cuff dropped to the bed, he ripped off his gown and replaced it with the scrub's top. The monitor squealed in protest, flatlining and announcing his death to the hospital staff.

Seizing my arm, he stumbled out of bed, struggling to get his feet beneath him, used to moving on four legs. I led him out of the room and into the hallway where he finally regained his bearings. But instead of releasing me, he grabbed my hand and tugged me along. We slipped before the panicked hospital staff which ran rampant through the hospital's brightly-lit corridors. All the while, I could see my wolf's mind assess the situation. The tilt of his head told me what he was listening to, and the lift of his long chin hinted at the scents he was gathering.

A soft, sweet country song was playing over the speaker system as my shoes squeaked against the shiny, tiled floor; my wolf's bare feet made no sound. The lobby was empty at this time of night; the receptionist seemed to know this because she was nowhere to be seen. I felt high on adrenaline, a certain sense of giddiness coursed my veins. In a way, I was committing an act of teenage rebellion. A frivolity I've never really thought of doing.

But here I was, smuggling a werewolf out of a hospital, way past midnight, and into my father's car which I took without permission. And in a twisted turn of events, my wolf turned out to be the most attractive person I've ever met and he was holding my hand. It seemed things were going well.

But then I felt his hesitation. His dark eyes fixed on the stretch of darkness beyond the glass door of the hospital entrance. "How cold it is out there?"

"About the same temperature when I brought you in. Probably around fifty degrees. Why- is it cold enough for you to change?"

"It's right on the edge. I can be either."

Beneath his slight monotone, I heard the pain in his voice. "Does it hurt to change?"

The expression that crossed his face- a combination of pain, sadness, and fear- was enough to answer my question.

"I want to be human right now."

I wanted him to be human too, "I'll go get the car and start the heater. Stay here."

I rushed into the parking lot and slid into my father's car, cranking up the heater. Suddenly, the scent of blood hit me. Shit. The passenger's seat was bathed in crimson. Reaching into the backseat, I found a towel and draped it over the chair. I would have to clean this up as soon as I got home.

I drove up to the hospital's entrance and my wolf scurried into the car, violently shivering when he finally sat down.

"Are you alright?"

He just sharply nodded in response, curling up into a tight ball on the passenger's seat.

"Where do you want me to take you?"

He peeked through the sloping hills of his knees and fringe of ebony hair. "I…don't know."

"Where do you normally live?"

"Watari- one of us –he takes care of the pack at his house, but no one is human right now, the house is empty. Perhaps, I should just-"

I frowned, shaking my head. "No, you're coming home with me."

His eyes widened. "You're parents-?"

"They don't have to know."

He gave me a small smile that made my heart pound and my stomach flutter. And after all this time, I realized I don't even know his name. I was just content with referring to him as 'my wolf', so used to the concept.

"Sorry but I forgot to ask…what's your name?"

"Lawliet. L Lawliet."

* * *

x Light x

"Are you asleep?" Lawliet's silken voice pierced the darkness of the room, though it was barely a whisper. But in a room which he didn't belong and my family sleeping in their nearby rooms, it was more like a shout.

I rolled in my bed toward where he lay on the wooden floor, a dark bundle curled in a nest of blankets and pillows. His presence, so strange and wonderful, still seemed unreal. Even if I wanted to sleep, I don't I think I would be able to. "No."

"I want to ask you a question."

I stifled a yawn. "Go ahead."

He shifted in the nest of blankets, crouching in a strange position with a thumb pursed between his plump lips. "You were bitten." But it wasn't a question. I could hear the interest in his voice, sense the tension in his body, even across the room. I slid deeper into my blankets, hiding from what he'd say.

"I don't know."

"How can you not know?"

"I was young."

"I was young too. But I knew what was happening." When I didn't say anything he sighed.

I stared out my window, into the void of night, lost in the memory of Lawliet as a wolf. The pack circled around me, salty tongues and snagging teeth, snarls and jerks. One wolf stood shivering in the snow, a fresh coat of white powder dusted on his ebony back as he watched me being torn apart. Lying in the snow, graying skies overhead and my life coming to an end, I held his gaze. He was beautiful; wild and dark, stormy eyes filled with a complexity I couldn't begin to fathom.

He gave off this unique scent that belonged only to himself which smelt of summer rains, burning leaves, and an autumn sweetness- rich and feral. Even now, I could still smell it on him though he was wearing scrubs and a human skin.

"I waited for you," he began once more. "I would wait for just outside your backyard every winter, so when you finally changed I could take you into the woods with me. But you never did change."

I clutched my sheets, tears nesting in the corner of my eyes like storm clouds. Remembering all those nights in which I would break out in a cold sweat, victim to a change that will never happen and so clueless to what was wrong. The unfairness of it all made me want to scream.

How many times I have wished to leave this dull life mine? To just leave everything behind. I could see me future laid out before me. And it terrified me. I have known the dull ache of this hollow joke of a life for almost the entirety of my existence. Everything was planned out, there were no uncertainties, just a monotone set of events that will become my future.

Graduate as the top student at high school, go to the college of my choice to study criminal law, join the FBI, get married, have children, retire, die.

Outside, I hear a low, keening howl, and then another. The night chorus rose, missing Lawliet's low, haunting song but beautiful nonetheless. My heart quickened, sick with abstract longing, and on the floor, I hear Lawliet give a low whimper. It was a miserable sound, caught somewhere between human and wolf.

"Do you miss them?" I whispered.

There was nothing but silence. Peering into the darkness, I saw his lithe form rise from his nest of blankets and walk over to my bedroom window. Silently, he curls up on the windowsill, long legs pressed against his chest as he hugged them. His face turned to the window, observing the darkness outside of it, listening to the howling of wolves.

And I see him. I really see him. So small in this world, lost and afraid. A boy who was neither wolf or human, a tortured creature caught in the fray of two lives and just struggling to hold on to one.

"You were bit. You were supposed to change," Lawliet muttered into his knees, more to himself than to me.

"Sometimes I wish I did," I told him.

"Sometimes I do, too."

We sat soundlessly in the dark until every wolf went silent.

* * *

xXx

Lawliet wolfed down food in the most literal sense of the word. Light watched the grotesque display from across the warm, sun lit kitchen as he cooked his morning breakfast, a mixture of disgust and awed fascination displayed on his features. The boy was defiantly a strange creature- crouched on a stool, sticky, sweet syrup dribbling down his long chin as crumbs of half-chewed pancakes tumbled off his lips.

"Can you try not to make such a mess?" Light asked, plate of scrambled eggs in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other, as he went to sit across Lawliet. An expression of disgust still evident on his face.

"Mhm?" Lawliet's head shot up from his stack of demolished pancakes, he was wearing winter clothing that belonged to Light's father. The heavy articles of clothing swallowed Lawliet's form as if he were a small child wearing their parent's clothes. The puffy, bright blue jacket he wore made him seem even more comical.

"Just…never mind," Light said with an exasperated sigh, taking a bite of eggs before shifting his gaze to the watch on his wrist. "Shit. I'm going to be late for school and I have to walk to my car."

"School?" Lawliet cocked his head with wide eyes; completely forgotten that such a place existed.

"Yeah, but I think I should just stay here for today."

"No, you're parents will become suspicious. Not only did you come home late last night, you will be missing school as well," Lawliet said as he discreetly tried to steal a piece of crispy bacon off Light's plate.

Light lightly slapped Lawliet's wrist before it had a chance to grab his bacon. "I guess you're right," he sighed, grabbing his book bag and slinging it over his shoulders. "Are you going to be alright here, by yourself?"

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Light," Lawliet said, already busying himself with the task of eating Light's leftovers.

Light looked at Lawliet with a face filled with concern. "Just call me if you need anything…anything at all." He reached into his book bag and pulled out a piece of paper and pen, then scribbled down his phone number before handing it to Lawliet. "Here's my phone number. You can use the house phone, over there," he pointed at the phone cradled in its receiver, hidden in one of the kitchen's nooks.

Lawliet nodded, shoving the paper into his pant pocket.

"Alright…I'll be going then," Light started backing toward the door, clearly at unease about leaving a werewolf by itself in his house. He wasn't even sure if it was properly housetrained or not.

With a nonchalant wave, Lawliet bid him goodbye.

And with that, Light left with a worried mind.

* * *

x L x

I hesitated on the back deck, looking at the frost-tipped blades of grass.

Even though I borrowed a pair of winter boots from Light's father, the early morning still bit at the skin of my bare ankles beneath the rubber. I could almost feel the nausea of the change rolling in my stomach, a feeling a maggots festering under the skin.

Lawliet, I told myself, willing the need for the change to subside. I'm Lawliet.

Despite the taste of an oncoming winter in the air, the woods were beautiful this time of year, all bold primary colors: crisp leaves in startling red, yellows, and oranges under a cerulean sky. Details I've never noticed as my time as a wolf. I tilted my head, reading the scents the wind carried, searching for the shed the pack kept hidden in the woods, which contained my clothes and other supplies.

I still had my heightened senses, a reminder that I could never be quite human, no matter who much I tried. Stepping lightly over fallen tree limbs and crisp leaves, I made my way to the shed. I could smell the subtle tracks of animals in the underbrush and the damp promise of warmer air in the afternoon. All around me was the warm smokiness of autumn, it's burning leaves and half-dead trees.

In the midst of it all, I inhaled an all too familiar scent. Beyond. He weaved among the trees, silent like death as he approached. Before me he stood, nearly on top of me. His dark coat- almost black- bristled as I approached. He seemed to have survived the hunt without a scratch. Long ears slightly back, he observed my human form and ridiculous attire with a cocked head. I could tell by the feral (well, more feral than usual) look in his crimson eyes that he was still in a primitive mindset and not fully conscience.

I held my hand out, palm up, letting what was left of my scent waft towards him. "It's me."

His muzzled curled in distaste, revealing an arsenal of long, pointed teeth. He backed away slowly, with a slight shake of his head. I guessed he noticed Light's scent layered on top of mine. I probably reeked of human. With narrowed eyes, losing the fog of his wolfish mind, he locked my gaze.

'How are you human?' He asked in our unspoken language. Werewolves usually trade images and emotions amongst the pack when they do not possess a completely human conscience. But when we can think clearly enough, we can trade words with each by thought.

'During the hunt I was shot. When I regained conscience, I found myself on his deck.'

Beyond snarled. 'You revealed yourself to a human?'

'It was not my intention but yes.'

He closed his eyes in a human expression of frustration, lips still curled slightly in a snarl. I could see flecks of drying blood on his muzzle, sign of a recent kill. Beyond always knew of my fascination with Light since the winter we attacked him. He was always urging me to stay away from the boy, but I kept finding my way back to him.

Beyond wasn't angry with me, no, just jealous. He was always fond of me but I never returned his attraction. I made sure to be clear that I was not interested in such relationships but he was relentless and ignorant. Always quick to make unwanted advances.

I wasn't with the pack at the time of the attack, but I knew it was Beyond who attacked Sam Gulley. Beyond had never been quite right, too eager to kill and hungry for the taste of blood. Unlike me, he was born into this life as a wolf, meaning he had more sense of control of his actions in his wolf form. Yet, he was always the first to lose his temper and lash out, to fall into his animal psyche. But it wasn't due to lack of control…Beyond just enjoyed the animalistic thrill that came with wearing a lupine skin.

We stood silently in these September woods, regarding ourselves with some sense of twisted nostalgia. We were brothers, not by blood but by the pack that bounded us (and for Beyond some stronger emotion). I found myself remembering earlier winters, were I was child and Beyond, being older, would guide me through the coldest days. I could feel the sensation of dried leaves beneath my paws and the sharp, rich slumber-heavy scent of these autumn woods when I was a wolf.

Beyond stared into my eyes- a very human gesture, considering the ranks within our pack, I was too high up for other wolves apart from him, Watari, and Rodger to challenge me like that- and I imagined his human voice saying to me, as it had so many times before,  _Don't you miss it?_

The memory of him urging me to leave my humanity overwhelmed me. _Come on, Lawli, stop acting human. Can't you see what we really are? Monsters._  The wickedness of his feral grin.  _Stop fighting it. Surrender to it. This is what you are, Lawliet._

I closed my eyes, shutting out the vividness of his gaze and the memory of my wolf body, and instead thought of Light. With a scent that smelled of a world far from mine, but feeling safe. The feel of his warm embrace as he held me through the frigid autumn twilight. And in the second that I remembered Light, Beyond had vanished into the woods, as if nothing more but a memory.

With Beyond gone, I clumped hurriedly to the shed were my clothing was stashed. Years ago, Watari and I had dragged the old shed, piece by piece, from his backyard to a small clearing deep in the woods. After a few years of rain, the shed had become bloated, containing a permanent musk of wet earth and mold.

Inside was a space heater, a rusting boat battery, and several plastic bins with names written on the sides. I opened the bin marked with my name and pulled the stuffed book bag inside. The other bins were packed with supplies such as food, blankets, and spare batteries-equipment for holing up in the shack, waiting for other members to change.

However, my pack contained things to escape. Everything I kept in it was designed to efficiently get me back to humanity as quickly as possible. And because of that, Beyond couldn't forgive me.

I hurriedly pulled off the burrowed clothing I was wearing and slipped into layers of my long-sleeved shirts along with a pair of faded blue jeans. Kicking off Light's father's enormous boots, I replaced them with my own ratty sneakers. I slung my book bag over my shoulders and exited the shed.

Pale sun streamed through the half-dead trees. Through the fallen leaves, mice scuttled avoiding the foxes swaying in their hidden perches. A robin, wings outstretched in the dirt, watched the lessening canopy through black eyes, a smear of red on its breast.

There's a shift in a wind, descending with a looming darkness, whispered and promised of a cold winter. I feel change, the way the forest quiets when the mountain lion goes out for lunch. Dread sunk deep into my skin and riled the beast within. My time is running out.

And I need a plan.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please follow, fav, comment, etc.! :)


	4. Doubt

Clair de Lune

Chapter 4

Doubt

 

"Lawliet?"

He turned away from the photographs that hung on my bedroom wall, to which he had been carefully studying. Cocking his head, he regarded me with a small smile, thumb pursed between his lips.

He wore a white, long sleeved shirt and baggy jeans, a different outfit from what I last saw him in. I knew no one in my family who owned that outfit, so he must have went somewhere to get them.

"Welcome home," Lawliet said as I began to peel off my shoes. Admittedly, I had spent the day worried about what chaos might ensue while I was at school. But to my relief, everything was alright. Lawliet hadn't eaten my parents, the house still seemed intact, and no one knew a werewolf was holing up in my room.

Sighing, I flopped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. My skin prickled as I felt Lawliet's unwavering gaze on me, he still hadn't moved from the room's corner. It's a bit unnerving, he's quiet as a ghost, but the weight of his gaze remind you that he's there.

"I have many questions for you." I began, eyes still fixed on the ceiling.

"You do?" Lawliet said, voice stringed with some faux obliviousness.

"Oh, yes," I locked my stare with his. "And you will answer them."

"Will I?" He cocked his head with an innocent expression, he looked like a little kid. It was only the small glint in his eyes that revealed he knew exactly what he was doing.

"If you choose not to, then I'll guess you'll have to leave," I replied nonchalantly.

"You wouldn't do that."

"I would and I will."

"No," he lips curled slyly, slight amusement steeling into his wide eyes. "You like me far too much to do that."

Bastard. Why the fuck is my face heating up? This is just ridiculous. He's trying to distract me from the conversation and avoid my questions. There's probably something he wants to hide. But what?

"Come here," I said as I pat the empty bed space next to me. He fidgeted a bit in his corner of the room; it seemed his shit-eating grin disappeared as well. I watched his unease with silent amusement. I wasn't sure if I was charmed or insulted by his reluctance to share a bed with me.

"Oh, come on. I don't bite."

His eyes narrowed before slowly creeping toward my bed and then settling on the far edge of it with that freaky perch of his. I could smell the faint wolf scent better now, and I sighed with a strange contentedness. He sighed, too.

"I want to know what makes you a wolf."

His answer was quick, he said it as if it were nothing more than a fact:

"When the temperature drops, I become a wolf. I can feel it coming on as winter approaches, and then finally, it's cold enough that I shift into a wolf until spring. The winter gives us no choice but to change, but for the rest of the year we can shift as we please…as long as you know how to control the shift."

"Can't you move to someplace warmer like Miami?"

"It wouldn't make much of a difference, we really change with the season. The cold just triggers it faster. A place like Miami might stall the change a bit longer but it is inevitable."

"How many of you are there?"

"About thirteen in my pack."

"Were you born like this?"

"No, I was bitten at age four."

He answered my questions quickly, a bit tense as he did- perhaps reluctant to share these secrets with someone outside the pack. I was filled with questions, uncertain they could all be answered. But there was one that kept coming back unwanted. And I knew I won't be content until it was answered. Apprehensive to what truth I might find, I sat up and met Lawliet's dark eyes.

"On the night you let me pet you," I felt my throat tighten painfully, as I tried to force the words out. "Who did that blood belong to? It wasn't his – that boy's…wasn't it?"

"No."

"Lawliet," I began, feeling slightly relieved but I had to be sure. "Have you ever… killed someone?"

I was met with nothing but silence. His body went rigid- unnaturally still. I could feel dread weigh heavily on me as I begged it not to be true. And after painfully long moments of excruciating silence, Lawliet spoke.

"I didn't mean to. It was an accident," His wide eyes were filled with memories of the past. His usual deadpanned look was now filled with some inner turmoil. Yet, his voice was still leveled when he spoke. "Light…I've done terrible things."

Swallowing nervously, I shifted farther from him. The boy next to me just became something a little more deadly. "You said it was accident. How so?"

He looked down at his wrists, at the scars that encircled them before he spoke. "My mother did this one. Father did the other one. I remember they counted backward so they'd do it at the same time. I still can't look at a bathtub."

It took me a moment to process what he meant. I don't know what did it- the flat, emotionless way he said it, the image of the scene that swam in my head, or something else entirely. My head spun, and my heartbeat crashed in my ears.

They tried to drown him.

"I didn't mean to hurt her, I was only eight. I didn't how to control it."

We sat silently for a moment before he spoke again.

"Am I monster?"

The way he said it made something crawl and slither under my skin. He sounded dead and defeated, the life dragged out of him. He wouldn't even look at me.

And honestly, I didn't know what to think. I barely knew this boy, who he was, what he's done, and what he's capable of. But yet, he's had so many chances to hurt me and he never did. Lawliet actually saved my life, which must count for something. Was he truly a monster?

"No," was all I could say.

A sad smile graced his lips, "Then you're a fool to think that."

* * *

x Light x

My heart was a bird straining against a cage of flesh as I stood in my backyard at one in the morning, toes buried deep in the earth.

The moonless night rendered me blind, to be swallowed by the woods' darkness. This lead blanket of a sky was weighing down on my shoulders. I struggled against, it's suffocating. And I'm afraid.

I couldn't remember how I got there –out of bed, down the stairs and to the backyard. Fear sunk deep into my skin and made my bones shiver, or perhaps it was just the cold which prickled my bare skin. I jumped at the creaking swings swaying back and forth somewhere beyond my vision.  _HowdidIgetherehowdidIgetherehowdidI-_

I smelled him before I saw him.

Lawliet.

He came to me silent like an apparition as he wrapped himself around my form. His presence was an anchor in a churning sea. I drunk him in, thankful for his appearance. He rested on the crescent of neck, gently whispering for me to come back inside. I felt him tremble in the cold night air, despite the winter clothing he wore. He shouldn't be out here, it's too cold.

Lawliet intertwined his fingers with mine gently tugging them back home. I tried move but it seemed I was rooted in place, like some sick nightmare. My fingers nervously twitched as I tried to regain control of this situation, commanding my body to move on my own accord. And with some willpower, I successfully regained my bearings.

I let go of Lawliet's hand. This wasn't right. I could feel it deep in my bones, something telling me that this is all wrong. That I should turn back before it's too late.

"What's wrong?" Lawliet said.

The light coming from the deck illuminated his back, some wayward strands of dark hair were highlighted with gold like a halo. An angel, was he…or the devil himself? The rest of him was ambiguously shrouded in darkness, true intentions hidden.

That veil of fairytale lies has been lifted. I was foolish when I first met Lawliet, to be swept up in the thought of magic and a life beyond this. Yes, he might have saved me from the cruelty of the wolves- but I knew the dreadfulness this creature was capable of. He was no angel.

For years, I had been convinced that Lawliet could never hurt me but now with him standing before me, and the realization of what he could do, he seemed as dangerous as the snakes slithering in the underbrush.

"Nothing," I said, passing him and climbing up the deck.

* * *

x Light x

"What were you doing outside?" Lawliet asked, once we were back inside.

"The last time I slept walk was six years ago, just after I was attack" I said, as I began to quietly climb the stairs back to my room.

We went back to bed, feeling the weight of those words heavily on our shoulders.

* * *

x Light x

That night, Lawliet climbed up to my bed, chastely perched on the farthest edge of the mattress, but somehow, during the night, our bodies migrated together. I woke early in the morning, long before dawn, the room washed only with the glow which streamed from the gap under my bedroom door.

I found myself pressed up against Lawliet's back, feeling his protruding spine beneath my hands. The sharp bone of his shoulder blade was almost painful looking in its jaggedness. Despite his aloof, glacial appearance, his body was warm and smelled good- like wolf, and rain, and home.

Gently, I pulled away from him and turned over, my back now facing adjacent to his. I could still smell him, hear his quiet breathing, and feel his warmth. He was a creature of beauty, but wasn't that the point? To disguise that beast beneath the delicate, porcelain exterior and trap prey with pretty lies.

Yet, despite how potentially dangerous L was, I was lured by him. He was something new in my dull world. He was dangerous but acted kind and I had to find out his true intentions. I knew the risks and I knew what terrible deeds he had done but they all seemed to be forgotten with a bat of his big eyes or the curve of his lopsided smile.

Right before I drifted back to a troubled sleep, I had a brief, burning thought: How long will he last the winter?

There had to be a cure.

* * *

xXx

"Which one is me?" Lawliet asked as he gestured to the wolf photographs that hung just above Light's working desk in his bedroom.

It was the third day he had spent holing up in Light's room, only leaving the room in search for food in the fridge and occasional laps around the woods. Though those trips in the woods were kept short, the need to change still sang in Lawliet's blood even in the warm safety of Light's home. He had to be cautious, he's fragile like an infant this time of year.

Light lifted his head up from the textbook he was studying, a curious expression on his face. He noticed how Lawliet kept lingering over the images with a searching expression for the past few days, but he had never spoken a word about them until now.

"You don't recognize yourself?" Light asked.

L shook his head and Light felt a sad twinge in his heart. Strange, after spending almost half of your life in a different skin, you can't even recognize yourself. It must be like waking from a coma without any recollection of your past life only to fall into another.

"Most of them are you, actually," Light shut his text book and walked over to the photographs. "This one is you," he pointed at a photograph of a wolf with a pure black fur. The wolf was tall, built on long legs and had a slight built. In some photographs, his ribs and spine were made prominent, evidence of a harsh winter.

Lawliet stared at the image. A wolf stared back at him, wearing his gray eyes, sunlight touching fur just as dark as his hair. He looked and looked, waiting for something, for some connection, a prickling of recognition. Just anything to convince him the creature in the photograph was actually him.

He felt nothing.

A sense of doubt nudged at Lawliet's brain. What if the wolf Light thought was him wasn't really?

Light, sensing Lawliet's doubt, said, "You know, you still smell like you when you're wolf."

A small, teasing smile graced Lawliet's lips as he turned to Light. "You can smell me?"

Light realized how gauche his observation was and grew slightly flustered, grumbling about how Lawliet smelled like wet dog and mud and kept stinking up his room. Lawliet let out a breathy laugh at Light's defense but his expression soon turned to one of concern.

"You're not supposed to be able to do that. Distinguish scents," Lawliet said, facing Light with wide eyes, thumb tugging his plush bottom lip.

Light shrugged, trying to mask his own concern. "Some people just have heightened senses. It doesn't mean anything."

"You were bitten. You were supposed to change. Why didn't you?"

"I told you I don't know. And why does it matter, it's not like I'm going to change now, anyway."

"Did anything strange happen right after you were bitten?"

"How am I supposed to know!?" Light snapped, events from years ago flooded his mind. Confusion and fear came with those memories, vibrant and powerful.

"Did you get sick after you were bitten?" Lawliet continued, ignoring Light's obvious distress.

Light, finally having enough, didn't answer and Lawliet sighed in his silence.

"I got really sick after I was bitten, I was only four when it happened."

Light remained silent with arms crossed across his chest in anger and frustration. All these years, he'd try to convince himself that the incident with the wolves was nothing, just a small childhood accident like a broken arm or a few stiches. There was nothing to fear, he refused to cower at the mere memory of it. He told himself he was strong for surviving, strong for moving on without a blunder.

Light stayed rigidly silent for a long moment, refusing to even look Lawliet's way. But he was desperately curious about what made Lawliet to what he is today. As impossible as it seemed, he was human once. Curiosity soon won him over.

"How did it happen?" Light asked softly, meeting Lawliet's eyes. For a moment, he didn't see a boy but the wolf he saw winters ago, towering above him, ready to go in for the kill.

"I was playing in my backyard until my ball rolled over into the small patch of woods behind my home. I went after it without much thought," he said before letting out an uneasy short, breathy laugh. "I certainly wasn't expecting to find a werewolf behind those rose bushes. It lunged at me before I could do anything. It sunk deep into my left arm, almost tore the thing right off."

Lawliet unconsciously ghosted a hand above his left shoulder, eyes distant and reminiscent. Carefully watching Lawliet's expression, Light silently admitted that he and Lawliet were quite alike. Both their lives were changed, courtesy of the cruelty of wolves. However, Light was lucky enough to escape the curse and Lawliet was unfortunate enough to fall under its spell.

"How did you escape?" Light asked, successfully bringing Lawliet's attention back to earth. Lawliet might have escaped his death by the hands of the creature but in way, a little boy named L Lawliet died that day.

"I screamed. My parents came running. All the commotion scared the thing off. What a coward, frightened by a screaming child and his squawking parents."

Light stayed silent for a moment, remembering what Lawliet told him at the hospital, how his parents tried to drown him. It disgusted him how they so easily turned on him, to do such horrendous things to their own flesh and blood. But then again, Lawliet hurt them in the end. Perhaps, they had their reasons.

Uneasiness crept under Light's skin, sparking a bit of apprehension. What exactly had Lawliet done to make his parents want to so desperately murder him? Light had seen Lawliet's wolf from. Even when the boy was young, he was still an intimidating figure, bearing dagger-like fangs and clawed paws. It is only in man's nature to be frightened of such creatures.

Guilty for thinking it was Lawliet who brought such a fate onto himself, Light attempted to stifle the accusing thoughts in his mind. It proved to be a futile. Thoughts of violence and an end that was seen coming like an oncoming storm danced in Light's head.

Lawliet had revealed so little about himself since the first night him and Light met. But one word brought quite a bounty of information. Watari. Lawliet had mentioned the name on the first night they spoke. Light had searched for any records of the man but the search proved futile. However, when he looked up Lawliet's records, it was revealed that a man by the name of Quillish Wammy adopted him after his father was sentenced to a lifetime of prison for the murder of his wife and child abuse.

But Light knew Lawliet's father wasn't the killer. Right after his mother was killed, Lawliet's father called the police claiming it was his son who was the killer. Of course, the police did not believe his story and now he's rotting in a cell somewhere up north. Light thought the bastard still deserved it though. Rotten people like that deserve to meet horrible ends.

"You mentioned someone named Watari the other night. You told me he takes care of you and the rest of the pack. How did he find you?" Light decided to finally ask in an attempt to steer the conversation toward something that give a glimpse into Lawliet's back story.

"Watari took me in after what happened with my parents. He has a knack for finding werewolves in need, I guess," L chuckled, in as care-free as a manner as he could muster. The façade faltered and he just seemed skittish and uneasy instead.

"Lawliet," Light started sternly. "Don't you lie to me."

Licking his lips, Lawliet said, "I couldn't stop stop shifting back and forth, no matter how warm or cold it was," Lawliet paused as those memories became darker and malevolent. "My parent's thought I was possessed. They thought I was the devil. Then it got warm and I became stable, they thought I was cured. Saved by the grace of God, I suppose. Until winter came again. For a while they tried to get the church to do something about me, bringing in priests for exorcisms and dowsing me with holy water. And finally, at the end, they decided to do something about it themselves."

Light face was nearing a pale shade of green as he clutched the chair near his desk for support. He couldn't say everything, so he didn't say anything at all. Lawliet broke the silence.

"Watari takes in werewolves who were just bitten or ones that struggle to control their animalistic instincts. He gives them food, money, a place to live, everything that we need. He's very generous. When he heard what happened to me on the local news, he automatically knew it was an incident pertaining to the supernatural type. So he traveled over there and decided to take me with him. "

Light watched as Lawliet spoke of Watari. His eyes lit up and a barely visible smile ghosted his lips. It was like a proud son speaking fondly of his father. Light remembered he used to talk about his father that same way years ago.

"Which one is he?" Light gestured to the wolf photographs above his work desk because he couldn't think of anything better to say. And in all honestly, he felt like crying for Lawliet. What a stupid feeling, Light thought, the need to cry for another. What good is that?

Lawliet pointed at one of the bigger wolves of the pack- light gray, with white around his muzzle.

"Do you recognize everyone?" Light asked, attempting to steer the conversation into new territory.

"Most of them, some memories are hazy but I can point out the ones closest to me," Lawliet seized the subject like a life line.

Light carefully listened as Lawliet began to point out the ones he knew. Beyond, dark and sickly looking. Aiber, brownish and blonde. Naomi, tall and regal. When he finished giving names to the wolves, Lawliet sighed, a feeling of longing worming into his heart as he stared at the photographs.

"I think I've answered your questions quite well, can you return me the favor?" Lawliet asked as he looked at Light looking at him.

Light sighed, knowing he owed the favor, he reluctantly agreed to being questioned. He sat down on the chair next to his desk, preparing himself to be peppered with questions. Lawliet, following Light's actions, sat down on the corner of the bed.

"Tell me about after you were bitten," Lawliet asked what Light knew he would.

Light leaned back in his seat and sighed, "I remember having the flu right afterward. That was the year I got locked in the car, too. It was a month or two after the was spring but it was really hot. My dad took me along to the police station to pick up some files because my mother was busy with other errands."

Light met Lawliet's eyes as if asking whether to continue or not. Lawliet just nodded for him to keep going.

"I had the flu and I was just stupid with sleep. So I fell asleep in the backseat…and the next thing I remember I was waking up in the hospital. I guess my dad was so preoccupied with the files he received he had forgotten about me when we got home. Just left me in the locked car, I guess. They said I tried to get out, but I don't remember that, really. I don't remember anything until the hospital, where the nurse was saying that it was the hottest May day on record for Lakewood Falls. The doctor told my dad the heat in the car should've killed me. How's that for responsible parenting? "

"You're rambling," Lawliet simply stated.

"I'm not. I'm telling you about a traumatic childhood experience in order to strengthen our…I don't know what this is- our friendship? Relationship?"

"Friends?" Lawliet offered, trying not to look to hopeful.

"Sure, whatever."

Lawliet just shook his head at Light's apathy, to which Light smiled at.

* * *

x L x

Beyond was the one who taught me how to kill.

Not in the way Watari taught me to hunt the slow, fat rabbits and ailing deer. He taught me to  _kill_  – how to find the weak points and snap joints, where to tear out the throat, how to survive a fight I never should have won.

I remember that fall in which he said,

"Listen Lawliet, this world is a fucked up place and I don't think you'll survive in it for much longer." Beyond loomed over my ten year old self, his lips curled to reveal his elongated fangs. And despite being five years older than me and much stronger, he never once frightened me. "This isn't a place for the faint of heart. Watari and Rodger won't always be there to shelter your runt ass."

"If that's what believe, then teach me how to survive," I replied.

His grin widened.

The next day Beyond brought home half a dozen raw chickens, which he stole from a small, nearby farm. Feathers were still tangled in his hair and I could smell blood and chicken feces on him. He taught me how to find the weak part of the joints and break them. When he felt satisfied with my progress, he brought fawns and rabbits, oozing blood and purposely mauled to a gory pulp.

"Tired of this yet?" Beyond asked after a week, as warm deer entrails slid from my bloodied hands, it's freshly killed corpse between my legs. This was his attempt to frighten me- it didn't work. I just shook my head and continued, pulling out the rest of the deer's insides, just as ruthless as he. It seemed I wasn't as vulnerable as he thought.

We kept on. Beyond found videos of dogfights; together we watched the dogs tear each other apart. All the while Beyond luridly grinned, watching how some dogs went for the jugular and some went for the front legs, snapping them and rendering their opponents powerless. He pointed out one particularly unequal fight, a massive pitbull and a little mixed terrier.

"Look at that little dog. That would be you. You're a runt. Watch how the little one fights. He weakens the big dog. Then suffocates him."

I watched the little terrier kill the bigger dog. And then Beyond and I went outside and fought –big dog, little dog.

Summer vanished. We began to change, one by one. Soon there were a few humans left: Watari, in order to watch over the rest, Aiber, from sheer cunning, Beyond, for the purpose to be near, and me. Me, because I was young and not fragile enough to change as quick as the others.

I will never forget the sounds of a fight between wolves. It was a primal savagery, two creatures bent on destroying each other. Even as a wolf, I never came across that sort of struggle- pack members fought for dominance, not to kill.

I was in the woods; Watari told me not to leave the house, but I could no longer stand stagnant in there, especially with Beyond finding every excuse to spend time with me. Jumping over fallen tree limbs and treading through the forest's undergrowth I heard the fight. The sound was near, here in the woods, I knew immediately it was werewolves. Sniffing the air, I realized the scent did belong to any of our pack.

And then they came into sight. Two giant wolves in the dim evening, snarling and snapping. With them, a dark wolf, struggling, bleeding, rolling in the underbrush. The wolf, Naomi, was doing everything pack behavior dictated- ears back, tail down, half-turned- everything she did screamed of submission. But the other wolves were frenzied, bent on destroying everything in their path. And so they began to pull Naomi into shreds.

Bewildered, and afraid for Naomi's life (I was always quite fond of her) I shouted. My voice was not as strong as I expected and I tried again, this time it was halfway between a growl.

One of the wolves broke off and rushed me; he knocked the wind from my lungs as he crashed into me. As his teeth sunk into my side, I spun and rolled, my eyes on the other wolf, its teeth clasped on Naomi's throat. She was gasping for breath, the side of her face soaked with crimson.

I wriggled from the wolf's grasp and ran to throw myself on the other which held Naomi, all three of us crashed to the ground. The monster was heavy and I was small. Its mass of blood-streaked muscle, crushing me. I grabbed for its throat with a pitifully weak human hand and missed.

Another dead weight hit me and I felt hot drool on my neck. I twisted just in time to avoid a killing bite from one of the wolves, its teeth sunk into my shoulder instead. I felt bone grate against bone- the sick fiery sensation of the beast's tooth sliding against my collarbone.

"Watari!" I yelled in desperation. It was maddeningly hard to think through the pain and with Naomi dying in front of me. Still, I remembered that little terrier- fast, deadly, brutal. I could feel the beast in me take over, it's pure, animalistic fury in my veins. I only fought this instinct for a moment, a futile attempt to preserve my human logic. But finally, I relinquished myself to the wolf.

I grabbed the werewolf's front leg, found the joint, and I didn't think about the blood. I didn't think about the sound it was going to make. I didn't think about anything but the mechanical action of

_snap._

The wolf's eyes rolled. It whistled through its nose, but didn't ease its grip. The other beast was shaking and grinding my shoulder in his massive jaws that felt iron-heavy and fire-hot. In my head, I could picture my muscles being torn, fibers like frayed cables. I could picture my arm getting ripped from its socket in a twisted pull. Then, the rest of my body destroyed by these monsters.

My right arm was bloodied, and somewhat torn. With my left, I grabbed a handful of the wolf's throat and twisted, tightened, and suffocated until I heard the monster gasping. I was the little terrier.

I could feel my jagged fingernails begin to elongate into claws and my teeth turn into fangs. I dug my now clawed fingers into the wolf's neck, but it didn't let go. The monster was tireless in its grip on Naomi's neck, but I was equally tireless in mine. Reaching up from under the other wolf that was grinding my shoulder, I flopped my dead right hand over the first' wolf's nose and pressed its nostrils close.

I didn't really think of anything, my human self lingered in the back of my mind, somewhere frightfully faraway. Right now, the wolf in me was killing. I fought and fought but I knew I was dying. And in my brief twelve years of life, it wasn't the first time.

For the longest moment, nothing happened. The monster would still not fall. I could feel a curtain of red fall before my eyes, becoming darker and darker. Then the wolf flopped to the ground, and Naomi fell out of its grip. There was blood everywhere- mine, Naomi's, and the wolves.

"Don't let go!" It was Beyond's voice, behind him I could hear the dull crash of footsteps in the woods. "Don't let go- he's not dead yet!"

I didn't know where I found the strength but I managed to get onto my elbows and knees. Fueled by pain and raw animal instinct, I lunged at the wolf's neck and sunk my fangs deep, deep into it. Hot blood rushed into my mouth, the taste of it just feed the monster within. More savagely now, I grabbed his impossibly thick neck between my claws, locking it in place and bringing the beast down with me.

I couldn't feel anything anymore, but I think I was still biting into the wolf's neck, the one that had Naomi. And then I felt the teeth in my shoulder jerk as the wolf gripping my necked lurched. Another wolf, Raye, Naomi's mate, was snarling going for its neck and dragging it off me.

Now, with the hulking weight of the wolf off of me I quickly released the other wolf to lunge at it again, this time tearing out his throat. Blood spurted everywhere, splattering across my face and on my already stained clothes.

I crashed to the floor along with the dead beast. Somewhere, a gun was fired and then fired again. Raye backed away, breathing hard, and then there was so much silence that my ears rang.

Before me, Watari stood with a pistol in his hands, mouth agape and wide eyed. Beyond rushed to my side and gently peeled my hands from the dead wolf's throat and pressed them against my shoulder instead. I wavered slightly, from pain, blood loss, and utter disbelief.

Beyond knelt down beside me, wide eyed and slightly shaky- a sight I thought I'd never see. He attempted to put on an indifferent façade with his usual toothy grin, but it still faltered.

"I guess those damn chickens didn't go to waste. Huh, Lawli?"

* * *

xXx

A stranger appeared at the edge of town, drawing attention from the local residents of the sleepy town of Lakewood Falls.

He was a hulking mass of muscle and tattoos, lumbering around the town center. The stranger only spoke when he was asked a question by the gun store owner when purchasing several boxes of bullets and a rifle's scope.

"Never seen you pass through here. Are you here for the deer hunting season?" The gun store owner, Bill Ashby, asked. He regarded the stranger with an almost cautious glance.

"No I'm actually in search for some…bigger game," the man said as he continued to inspect with the rifle scope with a stony-faced expression. Content with the scope's condition, he set it back down on the glass-case counter.

Bill's green eyes immediately widened and he mischievously smiled, the crow's feet near his eyes wrinkled upward. He leaned across the counter as if to exchange a secret. "Ah, so you're here for the wolves then."

"You caught me," the stranger raised his hands with faux guiltiness, though there wasn't much humor in his voice.

Bill just chuckled. "We're all after them. The whole town wants a piece of the action. Especially after they killed that boy, bless his soul. But those damn tree-hugging hippies have declared those beasts illegal to hunt."

"It's certainly a shame." The stranger mused.

"Yeah, it would be nice to have a wolf mounted above my fireplace or a fur rug. Well, here's your receipt. Have a nice day and be careful, wouldn't want you getting caught."

The man just nodded as he exited the store with an audible chime of the bell above the door.

Soon after, more and more strangers came to town, all with the intentions of going hunting.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, fav, follow, etc.! :)


	5. Wolf at the Door

Clair de Lune

Chapter Five

Wolf at the Door

 

"No matter how much you feed the wolf, he keeps looking at the forest."

\- Ilse Lehiste

 

I woke up and found an intruder in my bed.

Craning my neck over Lawliet's unwelcomed form beside me, I read the blurry, red numbers of my alarm clock. It was 3:35 A.M. With a sigh, I shifted my gaze back to the culprit beside me and traced over his mostly hidden form. Only Lawliet's dark, unruly mane of hair could be seen from under the avalanche of blankets. I almost reached out to touch him, but I stopped.

He shouldn't be here, in my bed, stealing my blankets and warmth. Yet, I permitted him to climb up here like a dog too comfortable with its master.

I propped myself up on one elbow, ready to banish him back to the nest of blankets on the floor but I felt disarmed by his presence, as if all my weapons were lowered at the mere sight of him. How did I let myself become so enraptured by this phantom of a boy? To someone so temporary. He will disappear soon, along with the trees' leaves and the sun's warmth. He might return with spring's flowers or never return at all. The winters are harsh and the humans have grown harsher. Who knows what traps they have set for him?

But, despite the impossible battle against the cold, I promised him to keep him safe. He was my burden to carry.

My throat cried out for water, demanding my full attention. With a groan, I peeled off my covers and walked to my bedroom's locked door. Hand on handle, I observed Lawliet, checking for any indication that he might have awoken with my departure. He stirred under the covers but returned to his silent sleep.

I unlocked the door and walked down the narrow hallway. Almost blindly, I descended the dark stairs, and at the bottom, I groped the wall for the light switch.  _We really need to put a light switch at the top the stairs._

In the kitchen, I pulled a glass from the cabinet and grabbed the water pitcher from the fridge. The liquid cascaded into the glass like a waterfall and I eagerly emptied the cup. The sandpapery feeling in my throat was instantly relived. I refilled the cup to take to bed with me.

As I placed the water pitcher back into the fridge, I felt the unmistakable, weighted feeling of someone's eyes on me. Goosebumps rose on my skin and I was filled with apprehension like cornered prey with no escape. I tried to ease myself into thinking it was all in my head and that nothing was really there, but the feeling never left me. With fear stealing into my heart, I turned to face a monster at my door.

A frightened gasp escaped my lips as my cup hit the ground and shattered. Fragments of glass shined like jagged crystals in the pool of water surrounding my bare feet.

Outside my sliding glass door, stood a werewolf on its hind legs. His clawed, front paws rested on the door to support his enormous frame. Even from behind the counter, he seemed to tower over me. With every exhale, his opaque breath frosted the window.

_It's Beyond._

Lawliet had pointed him out in one of my stack of photographs. Their wolf bodies were similar, except Beyond had a stockier frame with shades of brown intertwined into his fur and eyes like hot coals.  _It was Beyond who attacked Sam Gulley_ , Lawliet warned.  _Stay away_.

But I was certain Beyond would not attack me in my own home. Lawliet claimed he was intelligent, and the consequences would be too severe.

Feeling brave now, I stepped over the puddle of glass shards and walked over to the glass door. I stood under the beast. Just a sheet of glass less than an inch thick separated me from a mouthful of jagged teeth. I watched him like one would observe an animal at the zoo. He's nothing more than that to me –  _just an animal_. My stance must have displeased Beyond because he gave me an ugly snarl, red eyes filled with malice.

I held his gaze and without thinking, lifted my lip and snarled back. The animalistic growl that escaped my bared teeth surprised both of us. Beyond fell onto four paws and watched me in almost stunned silence. I stared him down, urging him to leave the territory of my home. He turned, cast a dark look over his shoulder, and then pissed on the corner of the deck before loping off into the woods.

Biting my lip to erase the strange feeling of the snarl, I went back to the kitchen to clean up the broken glass, trying to forget about the animalistic way I acted.

* * *

x Light x

There was a mauled deer corpse on my back porch the next morning.

I knew it was Beyond who dragged it over here but I sent Lawliet down to confirm it.

The deer's red and pink insides painted the porch crimson as its upturned head seemed to watch me with dead eyes. Lawliet possessed those same dark, thick-lashed eyes. The memory of the first time I met Lawliet in his human form came to me unwanted. I tried to suppress the image of his bloodied, dying body and the way his eyes practically screamed at me to help him. I never wanted to think of that again.

I turned away from the body.

Beside me, Lawliet waddled like an emperor penguin in his Eskimo-thick winter gear. It wasn't cold enough to warrant the heavy gear, but Lawliet did not want to risk changing. I chuckled at how ridiculous he looked, earning a glare from him. With a frustrated growl, he tore off the first thick layer of clothing and tossed it to an area that was not covered in blood.

Able to move a bit more fluidly now, he crouched next to the deer. He leaned forward and sniffed the body. I had yet to tell him about my encounter with Beyond last night, postponing the information until after identifying who left the deer on my porch.

After inhaling the scent, he seemed to freeze in place, eyes fixed on the horizon of sun-dipped trees beyond my backyard. I saw him tense like a coiled snake, ready to strike. I made a fruitless attempt to grab him before he could dart off, but he was too quick. He ran off into the woods with a dangerous fury.

I was left behind, watching him disappear into the trees like a phantom. I decided to follow him. Flies had started to gather on the deer carcass, and I didn't want to be there when it began to stink.

* * *

xXx

The trees become an abstract painting as L ran past them, colors blurring into a muddle of reds and yellows in the cool autumn morning. Beyond's scent made his blood boil, and it drove the wolf in him mad. He navigated through the mess of snaking roots and twisting branches with ease. When he reached a small clearing, he stopped to sniff the air for Beyond's location.

"Beyond! Beyond!" Lawliet shouted to the trees, irrational with animalistic instinct.

How dare he come to his territory and threaten him like that? Beyond had always been the same rank as L in the pack hierarchy, but after so many violent outbursts, Beyond had begun to lose his high position. Pack members no longer treated him with as much respect and obedience as before.

Beyond's scent hit Lawliet like a tidal wave. Somewhere to his right, Lawliet heard the snapping of branches and the sound of leaves crunching under something fast and large. Before he had a chance to escape, Beyond slammed into him with his full, furious weight, knocking both of them to the forest floor.

In that moment, Lawliet realized his fatal mistake. He was weakly human and Beyond was all animal. Despite his poor chances of winning, Lawliet prepared himself to fight Beyond but the smell of blood rolled over him with intense power. Beyond mentally shared an image of ominous dark figures and the sound of gunfire. In his head, Lawliet heard Beyond screaming-

_RUNRUNRUNHELPHELPTHEY'REAFTERME_

_"_ Who is after you?"Lawliet yelled back. As Lawliet attempted to push grabbed Beyond off him, he felt his hands become wet with blood. He noticed two bleeding puncture wounds on Beyond's side.

Lawliet raised his head and strained his senses to find what direction the hunters were coming from but the breeze carried no scent. All he could smell was Beyond's blood intertwined with the gunpowder.

 _Did you see them?_ Lawliet asked Beyond, anger turning into worry. He automatically thought about the pack and if the others were safe.

The dark wolf beside him rolled around in the dirt, withering in pain. Beyond was completely consumed by his animal psyche, there was no room for human reason.

Beyond cried out for his pack in mournful wolf wails. Lawliet thought is was strange no else had come to Beyond's aid. The others should have been here.

With a heavy sadness, Lawliet realized that the pack must have rejected Beyond. After a lifetime of causing trouble, attacking Sam Gulley had been the last straw. The pack could no longer afford to endanger themselves on the behalf of Beyond's behavior, so he was casted out. This decision must have been instinctual. Watari and the others would have kept Beyond if they were human. They would have dealt with Beyond's mistakes, but this winter had been especially stressful. The humans were desperate to destroy them all, and Lawliet's influential presence in the pack was absent.

Crouching down, Lawliet began to inch his way to Beyond, projecting calming images toward the pained wolf as he did so. He had to remove the bullets somehow. Lawliet reached out to touch him, but Beyond snapped at him with his massive jaws.

 _Beyond, it's me L. I'm trying to help you._ Lawliet thought of the quiet rippling of a lake's waves against the shore, the chirping of birds, and the long days of summer- all images intended to calm Beyond.

After a few moments, Beyond seemed to relax. He laid on his side and rested his head on the ground with a whine, his large chest deeply dipping before rising again. His gaze was trained on Lawliet. In his eyes, Lawliet could see he was exhausted; this season had been cruel to him. He pitied the poor creature that was his brother.

Lawliet sat by Beyond and sighed.

It seemed as if all of Lawliet's anger had dissipated, leaving him exhausted. Why was it always so easy to forgive Beyond? It was as if any mistake could be overlooked, justified, or forgiven. Memories of how Beyond used to guide him though the harshest winters and nurse him while he was ill always remind Lawliet why he could never abandon his brother, no matter how much a monster he was.

After a few moments of silent surrender Beyond broke the quiet,  _You're next in line._

 _What do you mean?_ Lawliet asked, shifting his position to meet Beyond's bright eyes.

_Watari is only getting older, he needs to ensure a successor to carry on as the pack leader. This winter has been the harshest so far, and we don't know how it will end for most of us. Anything can happen so we- they- need someone who can take over if needed. That person is you. Lawliet, you're the Alpha now._

_Wha- Beyond, I can't,_  Lawliet shook his head in disbelief. He knew that Watari had been considering a successor and that he was a likely candidate but he thought the decision would be made later.  _I can't be the Alpha. I am not fit for that position. You know I try to remove myself from this life as much as possible. It wouldn't be fair to the pack._

 _That's what I thought. I'm not satisfied with his decision, either. But I suppose a runt like you would make a better Alpha than anyone else in the pack._ You were always  _Watari's favorite, anyway_.

The trees seemed to spin around Lawliet as he tried to conjure elaborate plans of escape in his head. He thought of abandoning the pack, but quickly rejected that idea. He owed them more than that. He had to confront Watari about his decision to appoint him Alpha. Lawliet didn't want that burden.

While Lawliet was sat quietly, busy digesting the news, Beyond stretched his neck toward him and sniffed him before curling his lips in distaste.

 _That boy of yours isn't human. But he isn't like us either. His scent is all over you. I'm practically choking on it._ Beyond said.

 _I know he isn't,_ L admitted as he fiddled with the brown leaves, head bowed _. 'But he's more human than we will ever be_.'

 _Do you love him_?

Lawliet snapped his head to meet Beyond with stunned wide eyes. He was still and silent, the only sound between them was the chirps of birds perched on branches and the rustling of fall leaves in the gentle breeze. The wind tossed a few wayward strands onto Lawliet's face, he tucked them behind his ear and said, "I tried to stay away. I really did."

 _'Lawliet, no good can come of this. You're not meant for that life with him, just imagine the consequences._ '

"You don't think I know that?"Lawliet hissed, before realizing his outburst and composing himself once more.  _How is this fair, Beyond? I didn't choose this life of hiding._

 _You'll hurt him,_ Beyond snarled.  _One night, you're going wake up covered in blood and find that you've killed him and his family in their sleep. You will never forgive yourself and you'll just sink deeper and deeper into the darkness you've become and there will be nothing to stop you. And you will destroy and destroy because, Lawliet we are monsters and that is what we do._

Lawliet's eyes contained a stunning ferocity. It left Beyond shivering in their wake. It reminded Beyond of why he fell in love with him the first place.

Pride stirred in Beyond's chest. He had helped create this beautiful creature full of rage and full of power. It was he who raised a sickly child to into an Alpha. At the same time, it almost terrified him; Lawliet was no longer that small, sharp-witted boy he once was but a force to be reckoned with.

Lawliet shook with a quiet, restrained fury. In him, thunder rattled his bones and lightning stroke his blood. And without warning, he dug his fingers within Beyond's gaping wounds. Beyond roared and thrashed around but Lawliet held him down has he went deeper into the wound until he found the bullet and pulled it out. Just as quickly, he took the rest out with the same ruthlessness.

When he finished the gory deed, Lawliet stood up, bullets still in hand and a puddle of blood beside him. For a moment, Lawliet stared at the bleeding bullet in his hand, watching blood drip from his hand in long threads. He glanced over the wounded beast who was dizzy with pain and shock.

The sky seemed to fold and collapse around Beyond in bold, primary colors. Beyond anchored himself to L's scent.

 _You didn't like what I said, did you?_  Beyond panted.

_You're wrong, Beyond. Unlike you, I have control over what I am and I will never hurt him._

_But all you do is hurt. You already have hurt him once. I remember that look you had all those winters ago. You wanted to rip him apart and devour him as if he was_   _fillet mineon instead of scared child. What will stop you from feeling that same way again? And what about those werewolves you killed? I think you enjoyed killing them, I had to practically pry you off their dead bodies. And what about your parents? Were you in control then when you ripped your own mother's throat out? It takes a real monster to do that._

It no longer mattered if Lawliet was wearing only a human skin, with all this pent up anger he could kill Beyond. His lithe body no longer suited the ferocity in his eyes. He was a pale, fragile looking thing- skin like freshly fallen snow. And Beyond once feared of cracking the frost. But now, the beast blood runs deep in Lawliet's veins and this time it is Beyond in fear of breaking.

Lawliet did not go in for the kill- no he's better than that and wanted Beyond to know it. Instead, he remained cool and collected. He looked elegant and poised with a predatory gleam in his dark eyes. Beyond prepared for his inevitable destruction.

_How are you enjoying your solitary, Beyond? Does it feel nice knowing you very pack abandoned you because they're tired of the heavy burden you are? It probably hurt when they casted you out. They're weren't so gentle. I can see they're bite marks all over you. I actually felt sorry for you but now I've realized that you had this coming. You've screwed us over so many times, I'm surprised we haven't done this sooner. I wonder if you'll even survive this winter you've already been shot twice. And you know what? I can't find bring myself to care if you don't. You'll be doing us all a favor if you just disappear._

Lawliet waited for Beyond to say something but he was meant by silence. The wolf had turned his head away from him in defeat. L couldn't bring himself to care any longer, he was emotionally drained. Feeling there was nothing more to say, Lawliet began to walk back to Light's home.

_You know, Lawliet…I've always loved you._

Lawliet stopped, looking at Beyond from over his shoulder.

Beyond lifted his head to meet L's eyes- the only steady thing in the kaleidoscope of images and sensations.  _'But I guess that doesn't matter anymore. You have him now.'_

* * *

x Light x

I waded across the ocean of forest thicket in search of Lawliet. The longer it took to find him, the more apprehensive I became. I thought of the possibility that he might have changed into a wolf. He would have to spend an entire winter dodging hunters and struggling to survive. I had to find Lawliet before the cold finally got to him.

I felt almost ridiculous tripping over forest thicket. The roots and branches were so densely intertwined together, that I could barely see the ground. This part of the forest was unfamiliar and unwelcoming to me.

Looking for Lawliet was like chasing a ghost.I had never chased anything before, everything and everyone seemed to gravitate me. I had forgotten the ritual of a chase, wearing down my heels as I sought after some seemingly unreachable obstacle, or in this case, person. I don't chase but here I am calling out the name of my ghost.

"Lawliet?"I called out into the forest. Only birds chirped in reply and small animals scattered at the sound of my voice.

I continued to walk deeper into woods as I rubbed the smooth casing of the pocket knife my father had given me for my tenth birthday over and over again in my hands. It's a useless weapon. How could I fight off a beast armed with a deadly arsenal of claws and teeth with a small knife? Yet, there was a comfort in having it in my hand.

I had grown quite attached to the small knife though I barely used it. I either kept it in my car, on my dresser, or in my pocket when walking through the woods. But ever since I brought Lawliet home, I kept it on my person everywhere I went. Even at night I would slip it underneath my mattress while the wolf beside me slept. But if it came to it, I didn't think I could kill Lawliet.

I had imagined the scene play out a million times in my head: Lawliet lunging at me with the intention to kill, going for my jugular with a mouthful of fangs. When he collides into me, I grab his shoulders, preventing his snapping mouth from tearing my throat out. There is a struggle but I manage to wrestle him off. And during the time he takes to recover, I grab the knife from my right pocket. When he makes a second lunge at me, I'm ready with the knife outstretched before me and I stab him right in the heart. His eyes widen in shock and hurt as I watch the light leave his eyes. His body goes limp and I cradle him in my arms just like they first time we met.

This has been my nightmare for the last couple of nights. Maybe it's my subconscious screaming at me to escape before we meet this violent end.

It wasn't much longer until I heard the shuffling of leaves followed by a familiar phantom appearing before me. It made me uneasy that I could smell him before I even saw him.

"What happened?" I asked, examining Lawliet's bloodied shirt and hands. I held my knife tighter, keeping it away from his line of sight. He looked disoriented, like a soldier steeping out of a combat zone and into quiet safety.

He looked at me as if he just noticed my presence and shook his head. He sighed as if he was too tired to speak and he couldn't bother looking at my face. I refused to accept his wordless answer, I needed to know what happened.

"Whose blood is that, Lawliet?" I felt my face harden. I had a gory deer carcass on my porch, I think I deserved an answer.

"Light, I don't want to-"

"No! Answer my right now or I'm not letting back home. I demand to know what the hell is going on, it is my right to," I grabbed his arm, my fingers digging into pale skin. I forced him to meet my eyes. I wanted him to fucking look at me because I wanted him to know that I couldn't keep forgiving him like this. I needed to stop overlooking all his deadly faults.

He saw the fire in my eyes and knew he had to say something, "It was Beyond who left that deer on your porch. I found him wounded by some hunters," he gestured to his bloodied self, "this is his blood."

"What happened between you two?"

"Nothing, I just pulled out his bullets."

"What else? I know there's more to this. I can see there is something eating at you."

He regarded me with what seemed to be fascination and spite. He tilted his chin upward and stood tall with an intense gaze in his dark eyes- a wolfish display of dominance. I resisted mimicking him, there was fire in my veins and an animalistic instinct in the back of my mind that wanted to tear his throat out with my teeth. And I knew Lawliet felt the same at that moment. I held his gaze. I could feel the electricity between us, the tension before a fight.

And then there was release.

"I'm so sorry," Lawliet stepped back with his face in his hands. "I'm so right on the edge of changing I can barely think."

I let out a long exhale. It was almost frightening, this monster of pure instinct and need for violent dominance that came over me. It was frightening but at the same time it felt…good. It felt powerful. At that moment I felt as if I was invincible. And I knew Lawliet felt that change within me too, for there was puzzlement and concern in those stormy gray eyes of him.

"I just don't want to be left in the dark, Lawliet. All I ask is to know what is going on. If you want this…friendship between us to work then I need to know every detail. I have a family to take care of as well, I can't afford to put them in harm's way."

Lawliet just stared at me for a bit longer, seeming to dissect and analyze me, before he said, "Watari has chosen me to take over the pack. I'm the Alpha now but I do not wish to be. Light, I cannot accept this responsibility. I've already separated myself too much from the pack."

"Just tell him you don't want to be Alpha, I'm sure he'll understand if you explain to him."

"I just don't want to disappoint him and the others. I would weak if I turned my back to them."

"You're not weak for wanting to live a normal life."

His eyes widened, as if wanting to believe what I said. But they softened into an expression of sadness. "I apologize for dragging into this life, Light. You don't deserve anything that has happened to you. "

"There is nothing to apologize for. As insane as it might sound, I'm glad you opened up this whole world to me. Yes, there are risks but it's better than what my life was like before all of this. It was just...boredom."

Lawliet shook his head, "Light you don't want any part of this. This isn't some game you play for entertainment."

"I can take care of myself. I'm not as fragile as you think. Stop worrying about me like I'm an incompetent child," I moved closer to him, closing the distance between us. With every step closer to him, the more pained he seemed. "And if you truly didn't want me in any part of this, you wouldn't have spent all those winters haunting me like some phantom in the backyard. You're the one who dragged me into this life and you just can't handle the guilt if anything were to happen to me. That's why you're telling me all this. You want me in your life but can't stand the thought of me getting hurt and it being your fault."

"I just want you to be safe," he breathed, looking at me with those wide eyes of his.

"I understand that but there's nothing you can do to guarantee my safety."

"Yes, there is. I can leave, just change into a wolf and leave you." It was an empty threat. I saw panic in his eyes, the fear of me getting hurt for what he was.

"But you'll come back. Even as a wolf, you always come back."

It seemed we're bound together ever since that winter he saved me. Our bond only became stronger when it was my turn to save him. It was in that moment, with him standing before me and autumn leaves falling around us like rain, that I realized we could never escape each other. No matter how much we wanted too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, fav, follow, etc. It's always much appreciated. :D


	6. A Dagger for my Lover

Clair de Lune

Chapter 6

A Dagger for my Lover

 

 

The walk back home was silent. Tension created an uncomfortable barrier between us.

Lawliet seemed deep in thought. He chewed on his thumb, keeping his gaze toward the forest floor. Whenever confronted with a stressful situation, Lawliet would close himself off, becoming a lone bastion among turbulent times and dangers. He built walls, locking himself behind impenetrable barricades.

He feared being understood. It was something I knew well.

What would people think if they saw the person under all my masks? Would they be disgusted by what seemed to be my almost apathetic view on the world? But I did care. I longed for a better, just world where the innocent prosper and those who are evil are destroyed like the malignant tumors they are. But not all others shared my view.

I had to wear a mask that appeased everyone. I had to become perfect.

At a young age, I learned my intelligence frightened people. They were intimidated because I threatened their pride and self-esteem. I was a bright and vivid light amongst a sea of gray faces. I stood out too much and risked rejection, and so I wore a dulled and diluted version of myself.  _It was my curse._

I thought I had found acceptance in Lawliet. I could fully reveal myself to him and be understood. My words no longer needed to be censored and dumbed down for their meaning to be known. Lawliet followed my rapid, almost abstract, thoughts without blunder. It was thrilling to finally be around someone so intellectually similar.

Despite my ease around Lawliet, I knew he was hiding a part of himself. He was trying to protect both of us, not wanting to hurt me but not wanting to lose me either. I was what separated him from the world of wolves. I was the chain keeping him tethered to his humanity. If he lost me, there would be nothing keeping him human.

It was like seeing the tranquil surface of deep ocean waters and knowing more sinister and dangerous things rest under rippling waves. Every once in a while, I would catch a glimpse of the monster that slithered under his skin, and I knew it was waiting for him to give in.

_Lawliet, if you took off your mask, what would I see? I think I would see my reflection. We are one and the same. I'm starting to realize that now._

* * *

x Light x

My parents were fretting over the mauled deer corpse by the time Lawliet and I returned. Wordlessly, Lawliet slinked just beyond the fringe of trees, hidden from view but keeping a careful eye on the situation.

My parents had yet to see me and I felt like a ghost observing from afar. There was some entertainment in watching things unfold without being directly involved but I had to come back to my parents before one of them had a heart attack. Reluctantly, I walked over to them, readying myself for a long lecture.

"Light, oh my God. We couldn't find you anywhere!" My mother cried, leaping over some intestines to embrace me. I wrinkled my nose at the overpowering smell of rotting flesh "Light, what have we told you about going into those woods?" My father, a bear of a man, bellowed.

His face was weathered by concern, making him look older. I could tell from the prominent bags under his eyes that he hadn't slept properly in the past few days. Being the sheriff, he had to deal with the unruly behavior spawned by the wolf attacks.

"I'm sorry, dad. I just wanted to take a walk," I said, giving him the most apologetic look I could muster. At the moment, even keeping on a façade was tiring. It was still morning and I already felt like crawling back into bed.

"Soichiro, you and the rest of the police department have to do something about these wolves. Look at how close they came to our home." My mother gestured at the blood beneath her shoes. "Someone could have gotten hurt."

I could feel panic rise within me, like a sparrow in my chest. I swallowed it down like a bitter pill.

My father nodded solemnly. "I'll see what I can do. You're right. Something has to be done."

"W-wait, you can't kill them. Wha-"

"Light, that's enough from you!" My father snapped, and I couldn't help but shrink under his great height. "Do you know how worried we were? We thought the worse!"

His words stung more than any slap could. I've never been scolded by father before, and a childish shame filled me.

"Light what's going on? You've been acting so strange lately." My mother looked upon me with concern, hands intertwined in front of her chest like she was praying.

_Oh, everything is fine mom. My only friend is a werewolf who can barely keep himself human. And the town, my own father, is murdering his pack and would no doubt shoot him if they knew. He's all I have, and I'm probably going to lose him._

"I'm fine." I gave her a sweet smile. I could feel the skin of my face stretch across my bones. It took everything I had to keep it from turning into something feral looking.

* * *

x Light x

"You have to stop your father," was the first thing Lawliet said to me when I stepped into my room after my parents gave me a long, tear-filled lecture about the dangers of wondering around the woods. He was rigid, fists clenched at his sides as he paced back and forth like a caged animal.

"I will," I said with more confidence than I posessed. I always find a solution, why should this be any different.

"How? Your father has every right to want to kill us. We attacked you—his own son—killed a teenage boy, and now there is a pile of deer entrails splattered across his porch!"

I studied him like the strange specimen that he was. His ebony hair looked even more unruly than usual and his crisp white shirt was stained with blood and dirt. He no longer carried himself with the calmness he usually possessed— like a shark gliding across water. He was a feral thing now.

"Talk to my father. Tell him about the pack and what you are."

It was a terrible idea but I had to say something.

"Light, what I am is a monster. It would only give him another reason to destroy us."

"My father is a reasonable man."  _And you're not a monster._

"These are not matters for reasonable men. Reasonable men do not believe in stories that involve people turning into wolves. They believe in facts, like that a seventeen year old boy was killed by animals that live in the woods."

"What did happen to Sam?" I asked. Last I saw, he was being pinned by a couple of large wolves. He was screaming for help.

"He's severely wounded," Lawliet sighed, casting a forlorn gaze at the floorboards. "Hunters shot him. The pack doesn't know if he'll make it through the winter."

"I'm sorry," I apologized for Sam and my uselessness. What am I going to do? There's a guillotine looming ominously above the pack and it's hanging by thread.

"Don't apologize." Running a frustrated hand through his hair, L collapsed onto my bed. He closed his eyes, forehead wrinkled with worry.

I wanted to touch him, the same way one feels tempted to touch a hot stove. You know it'll hurt but the compulsion is still there, whispering from the back of your mind to do it. What would he do if I laid beside him? Would he welcome me or hurt me?

I could only watch him unravel from the safety of my human life. All winter meant to me was thick coats and snow, but for Lawliet, it was a fight for survival and the pain of abandoning an entire life. He carried such a heavy burden on himself. Not only was he in charge of keeping the wolf in him at bay, but he also had to take care of his pack before they all got killed.

I never imagined winters could be so cruel.

The thought of being reborn with the spring's flowers, birthed with a new skin and a mind that fades, frightened me. Unwillingly disappearing, your mind tucked away in a glass box until the seasons change.

I wonder if L carries a black hole sensation in his stomach, like something is missing. Does he mourn all his lost time? Do those missing thoughts drive him insane? I would feel empty walking around knowing that my life would always be a constant battle with a monster that waits impatiently in its cage to consume my humanity. That is not a life.

Lawliet jumped to his feet. "I need to get out."

"No, Law-," I reached for him, but he escaped my grasp and walked over to the window, and it creaked in distress when he opened it. Cold air rushed in and made my school papers and sketches disperse like a flock of birds taking flight.

"I will be quick. I am afraid of what I'll do if I stay here any longer."

As I grasped at flapping papers in an attempt to prevent them from sailing out my window, Lawliet slipped out, jumped off the roof with the agility of a feline, and ran to the trees like they were the only home he'd ever known.

I watched him disappear, and in my hands, I held a photograph of his wolf.

* * *

x Light x

Lawliet crawled back into my bedroom like a monster from a nightmare: there was a fresh stain of blood on his already soiled shirt.

Despite his feral appearance of frowzy hair and blood-caked checks, he seemed calmer. He seemed like Lawliet again, the once glazed over eyes of an exhausted man replaced by a keen look. With a satisfied smile and new spring in his step, he seemed almost ominously happy. A confusing mix of relief and apprehension knotted my stomach as I sat at my desk with homework spread before me.

"Caught some breakfast." Lawliet glanced over at the alarm clock on my nightstand. "No, it's already afternoon. I ate brunch. It was very nice, in a gross, gory way."

I tried to ease the obvious expression of disgust on my face. Lawliet's face scrunched up in a peculiar way, probably mimicking my own expression.

"If it were spring, I would be sick at the idea of eating freshly caught rabbit. A big piece of cake would have been the ideal breakfast for me, but I haven't been myself lately," he explained, picking something from his teeth.

I wrinkled my nose.

I hope he at least brushes his teeth and removes the tufts of animal fur and meat; I don't want his breath stinking like dead rats. Uh, dog breath.

I watched Lawliet move to the corner of the room where he kept his rucksack filled with personal items. He pawed through his clothing before pulling out a thick sweater, jeans, and underwear.

"Do you mind if I use your shower?" Lawliet asked, his back still facing me as he began to remove his filthy clothing.

"No." I hated how small my voice sounded as I willed myself to look away.

I was almost horrified at the sight of his protruding spine and prominent ribs. He was withering away, becoming more and more like the phantom version of himself I knew so well.

How long until there is nothing left? How long until the human part of him is stripped away, leaving nothing but the wolf behind?

"Thank you," Lawliet said, taking his clean clothes to the bathroom and warming up the shower. As I heard the water, I was reminded of his fear of bathtubs. The thought made my chest ache and I felt sorry for him.

He was wearing nothing but underwear, but it was slipping off his hips in the most teasing way. And fuck, I couldn't look away from the sharpness of his body, almost memorizing in its sick beauty. I kept running over the dips between his ribs and the way his stomach looked sadly hollow . He appeared so fragile. I was almost convinced that he didn't possess the power to hurt me.

Before closing the bathroom door, he turned to me with the most dazzling smile I'd ever seen. It was too warm for his cool, decaying features. It was a lovely thing to see Lawliet smile; he did so with his whole face, from the curve of his lips to his squinted eyes. But as time went by, those smile seemed too tiring for him to keep up.

"You are truly amazing, Light. I don't think I could ever thank you enough for what you have done, but I promise that I will try to make it up to you one day."

All I could do was smile back as a very unwelcome heat spread across my face. And when he shut the bathroom door, I groaned, shaking head in my hands.

* * *

The light of the fridge washed the kitchen in an unearthly glow. Both the stainless steel fridge and freezer doors were ajar, a cool breeze spilling out into the house and nipping at my bare ankles. I moved forward slowly, my feet silent on the wood floor, pocket knife gripped tightly in my hand.

I had woken up to find an empty bed and Lawliet nowhere to be seen. I thought his animalistic side would have calmed down after a trip to the woods and a warm shower, but this disappearance was proving me wrong.

Lawliet did say some things that might have hinted at a purposeful departure. He had spoken about leaving and promised he would make it all up to me. Was leaving his way of returning the favor?

My investigation came to a crescendo when I heard rattling in the kitchen. I gripped the pocket knife harder.

The corner of the island cut off most of Lawliet's crouched, hunched over form. I barely saw the curve of his spine from my angle.

I heard a low, guttural sound, like growling. And oh God, I saw blood inching across the floor in a growing puddle. In my head, I saw the gory image of Lawliet crouched over my mother or sister's torn body. It made me want to scream. I was unable to move, and my grip on the knife trembled as I became a boy ready to face the monster under his bed.

But this monster had tried so hard not to be one. I could see the struggle in the sad slope of Lawliet's shoulders and the tired look in his eyes as he fought the instinct to change and destroy. Just like autumn leaves, he was withering away into crumpled pieces of himself. Slowly, he would disappear along with this human body.

I didn't want him to disappear.

"L-Lawliet," I whispered as I kept moving closer, stowing my fear in a quiet corner of my mind as I willed to the surface the animalistic savagery that had started to grow like a weed within me.

I heard a low, rumbling growl, like thunder rolling off of tundra plains. The deep sound made my skin prickle and my bones vibrate. I stopped moving. Lawliet would attack if I moved closer, but also if I ran. I was trapped.

Pushing down the lump in my throat, I readied myself for a fight for my life. Adrenaline galvanized me into the instinct to fight.

"Lawliet," I said more firmly this time, my feet now in the puddle of blood. I begged it not to be human. "It's me, Light. I'm not going to hurt you."

I had a full view of Lawliet now, crouched behind an avalanche of torn open and eaten fridge contents. He was working on a pack of raw ground beef. Empty meat packages littered the ground along with dinner leftovers and pantry items. The 'blood' was actually spilled fruit punch and a bit of actual blood from the meat. I would have laughed if I wasn't so afraid.

He continued to growl at me. I called his name again and that seemed shock him back to reality.

"L-Light?" Blood ran down his chin and he was covered with food. He looked at the mess he made in a frightened daze. "W-what did I do?"

I moved slowly toward him, careful not to make any sudden movements that might trigger his animalistic psyche.

"Nothing, it's alright Lawliet. You just raided my kitchen, that's all."

"I…I didn't hurt anyone, did I? Did I hurt you?"

"No, you didn't hurt anyone. Everything is fine. I'm fine." I showed him the palms of my hands as if to emphasize my lack of injuries.

I grabbed a couple sheets of paper towel and reached over to wipe his face. He jolted back from my touch, but he eventually leaned into it with tired, half-lidded eyes.

"I'm sorry," he murmured as I cleaned his left cheek. "I'll help you clean up."

"It's alright. You're tired, and you should go back to bed. I'll take care of this." I needed him unconscious at that moment. He was least dangerous asleep, and I couldn't allow him to roam around while he was somewhere between human and animal.

After a bit of protesting, I managed to convince him to brush his teeth to remove the taste of blood, and he climbed back up stairs.

I was left alone with a fine frenzy. Recently, it seemed I was cleaning up a lot of messes.

* * *

xXx

An ocean turned over, crashing against Lawliet's rib cage as if it was the broken hull of a ship. It felt like drowning. Lawliet kept breathing, grabbing Light's bed sheets in attempt to not fall overboard. An illness ravaged his body, something ugly and violent demanding to be set forth. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he begged whatever it was inside him to let him be.

He bit the pillow in attempt to stifle his cries. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think.

'I'm Lawliet. I'm human,' He repeated those words like a mantra in his head. Words to cure this torturous curse, but they offered no solace.

Lawliet heard Light's footsteps on the stairs. It terrified him. What if he lost control and attacked the boy? He had almost attacked him a few minutes ago. Beyond was right. He didn't have as much control as he thought he had.

The door opened and Light stood in the doorway, peering in to see Lawliet withering in pain on the bed. The boy was frightened but knew he had to do something.

"Lawliet, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Light climbed slowly onto the bed and cautiously took the trembling boy in his arms. "It's okay, L. Just stay with me. Stay with me," he pleaded into Lawliet's neck.

Lawliet struggled in Light's embrace, wanting to escape for fear of hurting him. But Light held him tighter, trying to soothe him with calm words and his warmth. After the initial panic subsided, Lawliet allowed Light to do as he pleased. Whatever he was doing seemed to be working.

Light rubbed soothing circles on the knots of Lawliet's back. Lawliet seemed to relax, resting his head against Light's shoulder. Chest to chest, Light could hear and feel a deep rumbling in Lawliet's chest that sounded much like…purring? The boy pushed Lawliet up and met his eyes with a questioning expression.

"I didn't know werewolves could purr," Light said, brow raised. He tried to ignore the heavy warmth throughout his body and the way Lawliet looked at him with alluring, intense affection.

Silver moonlight streamed through the bedroom window and painted Lawliet in an unearthly glow, highlighting his stunning sharpness. They breathed in each other's warm sweetness, unique scents they had grown to identify with each other.

Almost hesitantly, Light moved closer, brushing ebony hair aside and tracing the sharp outline of his face. Lawliet leaned into the touch, placing his hand over Light's. Unable to resist any longer, Light closed the distance between them—lips against lips, completely and utterly enraptured by each other.

It felt hot and good and horribly wrong- everything Light could ever hope for. Lawliet moaned into the kiss, hands running gently down Light's back. Light was so warm and he was so cold. Clashing together, it just felt  _hothothot._

Silk against silk, their lips met and broke over and over again. Hands eagerly explored, running down chests and backs.

"I think I love you," Light whispered breathlessly into Lawliet's ear.

"I think I've loved you for a long time now," Lawliet replied, trailing kisses down Light's exposed neck. He then laughed, smiling against Light's neck. "I've never done this before."

"You're doing just fine," Light said before taking Lawliet's mouth again.

Lawliet's movements soon grew ferocious. Light felt something foreign and animal crash against him as Lawliet dragged sharp teeth across his lips. Lawliet dug his fingers deep into Light's back, as if to tear him apart, kissing him roughly and hungrily, demanding a meal. The creature in Light's arms was no longer the boy he loved. Light felt as if he was being devoured by a beast.

Between Lawliet's ravenous kisses, Light's mind began to stray to the knife in his pocket. Could he do it? Could he kill Lawliet if he had to?

Light pulled back quickly. Their ragged breathing was the only noise in the room. Lawliet seemed to wake from whatever daze he was in, dulled eyes brightening. Light could already see the apology forming on his tongue.

There was silence, their breathing echoing in the dark room. Light bit his bruised lips, dizzy with the thought that this deadly love affair may kill him.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, fav, follow! Feedback is always helpful and motivating. :D


	7. Hunger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> date night goes wrong

 

"Hungry for the kill, but this hunger, it isn't you"

-'Hunger' by Of Monster and Men

* * *

There are things that cannot be put into words. They manifest until they become weighty with the need for release.

Between Lawliet and I, there was a nebulous presence burdened with unsaid words. Unspoken, but understood.

We tried to navigate around it, but it was omnipresent, sinking deep into our lungs like tar and clinging onto our clothes like smoke. At first, I tried not to breathe in that sweet poison, but I slowly grew to accept it.

If you inhaled deeply enough, you could almost understand the swirling, whispering cloud of words and emotion. It spoke of love and longing and the despair of knowing there were hidden secrets amongst ourselves. But above all else, it spoke of the need to be with each other.

Lawliet watched me with loving eyes from his curled position on my window sill. I buttoned the last few buttons of my shirt and announced to my audience of one that I was ready to begin our date. I was giddy with joy and excitement, emotions I thought I would never experience after the age of nine.

Dates had always felt like a chore, a long marathon of keeping up a charming façade in order to appease my lover. But with Lawliet…

There was a part of me that wanted to see Lawliet in a 'human' setting, like viewing a wild animal in a mall or movie theater. It was almost difficult to imagine Lawliet some place which wasn't the woods or my room. He was much too feral to be confined by society - as if he were an unruly weed pushing out of the cracks in the concrete.

Lawliet uncurled himself from his position on the windowsill and walked over to me with a small smile. "I wish we met under different circumstances. Maybe then we could have gone on more dates." There was a sense of longing in his voice. "And we could go on so much more, if only I was human."

If only. If only.

* * *

x Light x

After telling my parents I was off to see a movie with friends, I slid into the driver seat of my car and turned on the heater. When the car was comfortably warm, I gave a honk to signal to Lawliet that it was safe to come out. From my bedroom window, Lawliet crept onto the roof, lept down, and scurried toward the car.

"You know, I don't think trucks are your style. They're too… _country_. You need something sleek and luxurious like a BMW. I imagine you driving it on some desolate highway at night while you brood like one of those models in the car advertisements," L said after he slid into the passenger's seat with a shiver.

I chuckled as I coaxed the groaning truck out of the drive way. "I can't wait to get rid of this truck. It's broken down on me countless times. It's so humiliating to drive this hulking piece of metal."

"Very embarrassing," he agreed. "I'm almost ashamed of being seen with you in this death machine."

Lawliet played with the car radio, tweaking the knobs until the sound of guitars and drums came lowly from the speakers. Classic rock _._ I couldn't help but find Lawliet's selection of music interesting; then again, I wasn't expecting him to blare Hip-Hop.

"Where are you taking me on this fine evening?" Lawliet said. Well, he seemed to be in a very good mood. I'd never seen him so playful. I couldn't help but feel a bit flattered.

"I was thinking of taking you to this Italian restaurant near the city."

"Is it fancy?"

"A bit," I shrugged. It was a popular chain restaurant, but still pricey.

"I'm not in the mood for fancy. I want to go somewhere where I can just stuff my face and no one cares. Wait!" L turned to me so suddenly that I was afraid that he was either turning into a wolf or having a heart attack. My car steered off the road for a moment, my trembling hands gripping the wheel as my heart pounded. [A2] "I want a burger! Yes. A burger!"

"A burger?" The image of a McDonald's popped into my head. Going to a McDonald's didn't seem to be an appropriate place to go on a first date, unless you were twelve.

"You don't feeling like eating burgers? It's alright if you want to go to that Italian restaurant instead."

"No, it's alright. I'm just thinking of where to get burgers." The thought of a greasy, artery-clogging burger made my stomach feel uneasy, but I had already told Lawliet I was okay with it. I'll just order a salad and it'll be fine.

"We're in America, Light. I don't think it will be that hard to find a burger."

We drove until Lawliet spotted a vintage-looking neon diner by the side of the road, and he insisted we stop .

Inside the diner, there were a few people. An elderly man was seated at the counter, enjoying a cup of coffee while reading on his tablet. Classic rock played softly through the speakers and the diner's neon lights and machines hummed quietly with electricity. The diner's sounds melded into a quiet harmony as the red-haired waitress sat us at a booth covered with shiny red vinyl.

"Anything to drink?" She asked as she handed us our menus.

"Water," I said.

"A strawberry shake," L said, already busying himself with the menu.

She smiled and nodded before walking away.

"I would like the double bacon burger. Oh, wait. They have triple meat? I want one of those," Lawliet said as he continued looking through the menu. I looked up to tell him eating something so unhealthy is disgusting, but I stopped myself.

Under the bright lights of the diner, he looked  _sick_. The pallor of his skin was pale and translucent, allowing me to see the blue and green roadmaps of his veins. Bruises hung under his sunken eyes . The thinness of his face made him look older and close to death.

I wanted to look away from this corpse of a boy, but his hands caught my attention. Their skeletal likeliness reminded me again that he was here on borrowed time.

A triple meat bacon cheeseburger now seemed to be the healthiest option to give him; anything to keep him from withering away to bone.

The waitress came around to get our orders, and as we waited for our meal, Lawliet entertained me with conversation and his 'hidden talent', which was tying cherry stems with his tongue.

"I heard it means you're a good kisser. Do you think there's any truth to that claim?" He gave me a sly look as he took the knotted cherry stem, which he got with his strawberry shake, from his tongue.

"You're not too bad," I said. "Tie a few more cherries and maybe you'll even be good at it."

He pouted and I laughed. It felt so surreal, as if we had been thrust into a cliché movie set in the 60s, the retro diner adding to the ambiance. The cutesiness of it made me want to be sick. I almost felt like a normal teenager just going out on a date with my human boyfriend.

_Almost._

When the waitress came with our orders, Lawliet lunged at his burger and took a giant bite from it. I could have sworn I saw the gleam of an elongated fang. It was an almost gruesome display as he tore into his food .

"Slow down," I warned as I added dressing to my salad. "You're going to choke. You'll feel fuller if you eat slower, anyway."

He didn't reply, but it seemed he heard for he began to slow down and eat at a more relaxed pace. However, he still finished his meal in record time. I wasn't even half-way finished with my salad.

After my meal, I gave a good look at Lawliet and was stunned by his sudden change of appearance. His face was still on the thin side, but a healthy shade of pink flushed his cheeks and the bruises around his eyes were receding. He even seemed more alert and awake, looking excitedly at the dessert menu as his thumb played with his bottom lip.

It made me wonder how much longer a meager meal like this would satisfy him. He was already hunting small animals in the yard. It wouldn't be long until he craved something larger, until he couldn't resist the urge to change.

Lawliet looked up from the menu with a toothy grin and said, "So, how about some apple pie?"

* * *

x Light x

After finishing dessert and ordering a couple slices of pie to go for Lawliet, we drove to a small picnic area overlooking a lake. It was a quiet, moonlit night, and I thought it would be nice to view the sparkling surface of the water.

We parked at the edge of the lake and climbed onto the bed of the truck. Fortunately, it wasn't too cold for Lawliet, but I brought him a blanket to wrap around himself, anyway. He insisted that I should sit next to him for the 'extra warmth'. I complied, our thighs touching as we intertwined our fingers.

As time went by, we spoke and dabbled in some light-hearted debate. Sometimes we would fall into content silence, just breathing in each other's presence and there was no need for noise or pointless babble. However, a burning thought still nagged me, and I knew I wouldn't feel fully content keeping it hidden from Lawliet.

"Remember when you asked me if you were a monster?"

"I do," he said simply, but the slight change in his posture indicated that he was interested in what I had to say.

"I said 'no' because I didn't know what else to say, but I've thought about it and I have an answer now. Do you want to know what I think?"

L swallowed, "Yes…please."

"Humans, and humans alone, are the only evil on this Earth. Good and evil are just abstract concepts created by man to categorize the world around us. Take for example, a man who rapes and kills his wife. He knows and acknowledges what is wrong, yet he goes against it and commits such a horrendous crime.  _That is evil._  Now, a lion cannot be evil. He kills and devours the weak because it his nature. There is no strict moral code to go by, and he does what he needs to in order to ensure his survival. And that, Lawliet, is why you're not a monster. You only do what is in your nature."

"So you don't think I'm human?" He let go of my hand.

I frowned. He didn't completely understand what I had said.

"Only some of the time, like now. But when you're a wolf…you're just a wolf. A creature ruled by instinct. You have no control over your actions."

"But I can fight it. I can choose not to lose control. But sometimes, I just don't feel like fighting it anymore. That was a conscious decision, to let the wolf take control and do what it pleases. I walked that line of good and evil, and I chose evil."

"You cannot fight forever, especially if the thing you're fighting is a part of you. You will always lose to the wolf. But the wolf isn't evil. It's doing what is in its nature," I repeated.

Lawliet shifted and sighed, still seemingly fixated on the thought that he was a monster no matter what he did.

I was growing frustrated trying to convince him otherwise.

"What if was like you? Would you think of me as a monster?"

"No," he admitted.

"Then stop calling yourself one."

"But-"

Before Lawliet could finish his sentence, a loud chorus of howls rose from the trees. The sudden outburst pierced the quiet night. Some yards away, a group of drunken teenagers burst into howls as well, giggling as they mimicked the wolves.

"If only they knew what they were howling at," L said, narrowed eyes watching the dark trees. He seemed to be trying to pinpoint the pack's location.

"What are they saying?" I asked. I wondered if a wolf's howl had any actual meaning, or if it was just noise.

The teenagers finally settled down, seemingly transfixed by the wolves, allowing the animals to sing their haunting song.

"They're calling for me."

My heart fluttered and sank. I swallowed, "Well, are you going to answer ?"

I didn't expect him to say anything, but to my surprise, he lifted his head, cupped his mouth, and howled. Air escaped my lungs and goosebumps rose on my skin. The night chorus now seemed complete with Lawliet's low, sad song. The howling grew louder, rising to a crescendo; Lawliet's voice excited them.

Under the moonlight, Lawliet was transcendent and celestial. He was something that did not belong among mortals, but among the trees; something that belonged to the wind which slipped beyond the pines, that belonged to the dark stillness of night, leading sailors adrift on black, moonlit seas.

I suddenly felt the urge to join in, but I stopped myself and listened instead. My bones vibrated in time with Lawliet's voice, a strange longing worming into my heart, like something was missing. I felt incomplete: a hollow shell without the chorus of life.

Lawliet's song winded down to silence. He curled into himself, wilting like a rose. The pack followed his lead and ceased their howling. It was quiet once more.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked. I could see Lawliet beginning to close himself off, building walls around his aching heart and putting on a mask of indifference. The similarity between us made my chest hurt.

"I'm just tired. Let's go home," Lawliet muttered, pulling the blanket tighter around himself.

I nodded, standing up and climbing out of the bed of the truck as one sentence kept playing over and over again in my head:

_'Let's go home.'_

* * *

 

x Light x

In the distance, I could see the red and blue light parade of police cars, huddled in a circular formation, surrounding something. Like a small army of scattered ants, officers marched around, busying themselves with small tasks or conversation. One officer pulled out crime scene tape and began sealing off the area. It was Matsuda.

I eased my truck towards the crime scene and parked on the side of the road. "Stay here," I told Lawliet. "I'm going to see what's happening."

Before he could reply, I exited and approached.

"Light!" Matusda exclaimed once he saw me. He turned to the officers behind him. "Hey guys, let him through. He's the sheriff's son."

The officers nodded. I had helped them with cases before, gaining their trust and respect.

"What's going?" I asked as I tried peering at the scene behind Matsuda.

"A body was found."

_A body._ My mind automatically drifted to the wolves. Did they do this?

"Is my dad here?" I looked around, trying to pick out my father's proud, tall form from the swarm of officers.

"He's on his way."

I nodded. I had limited time before he got here, before he would surely kick me out and send me back home.

"May I take a look at the body?" It wasn't much of a question; I was already walking towards it. It was if the body was pulling me towards it. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach. It made my skin crawl and the hairs on the back of my neck stand.

"Uh...it's pretty gory...I don't know-"

"I'll be fine."

I began maneuvering through the crowd of uniform clad bodies. Scents and noises bombarded my senses like crashing waves. I stumbled, overwhelmed: the smell of coffee and blood in the air; the sounds of whispers and words, rising to unbearable noise levels; the flashing police sirens blinding me as they painted the scene with vibrant reds and blues _._  I felt as if I was being smothered. Dizzy and breathless, I stood sightless in front of the mauled body, trying to regain my composure as I tried to figure out what had caused my senses to heighten to the extreme.

I took some deep breathes, my sense dulling, leaving me with a lingering headache, but feeling much better. Nausea roiled in my stomach, but I tried to put on a mask of indifference in front of Matsuda. I didn't want him to think that the sight of the body had made me uneasy.

I knew for sure the body wasn't the cause of my sudden burst of illness. Gory images had never really phased me. The cause must have been something else, but my time at the scene was limited, so I couldn't waste time with such thoughts.

"I told you it wasn't a pretty sight," Matsuda said. I had to agree.

It was covered in deep claw marks with the abdomen torn up, intestines littering the ground like fat, pink earth worms. I stepped closer, trying my best not to breathe in the smell of blood. Long, blonde hair and a petite body revealed the sex to be female. The large claw marks and bite marks made it obvious what had killed her.

_Werewolf._

"You think it's an animal attack, Light?" Matsuda whispered, leaning towards me as if looking for some gossip.

"Most likely. However, the claw marks seem way too large for a wolf. Possibly a bear is responsible."

Matsuda squinted at the body and nodded. "Yeah, those marks are huge! Something bigger than a wolf must have done it."

I sighed, feeling a bit relieved that the police didn't seem too set on placing blame on the wolves. I averted my gaze from the dead girl and scanned the area for any clues. It was dark; the police had yet to set up lights around the scene, but my eyes were keen.

"What is that?" I pointed toward something small resting at the base of a tree behind the body. It was shaped like a doll.

"I don't know. It's too dark to see anything," Matsuda said as he trailed behind my hurried steps, fumbling with his flashlight as he tried to turn it on.

I reached the tree and crouched down to view the unknown object. It was a featureless straw doll.

"Hey, guys! We found something!" Matsuda yelled.

As I began to examine the doll, I heard the crunching of leaves under heavy footsteps behind me.

"Light, what are you doing here?"

The sound of my father's voice behind me made me freeze. I once again felt like a young child after being caught doing something bad, scolded by his father. I quietly sighed and stood up to meet him.

"I was on my way home when I saw the police cars. I saw Matsuda and I thought maybe I could help." I couldn't apologize. Apologizing would mean admitting that I did something wrong,

"Yeah, chief. Light just wanted to help. And he did! He found this doll," Mastuda said in his usual excited manner which consisted of his voice rising and erratic hand gestures.

My father just grunted in acknowledgment while keeping his stern gaze on me. I gave him a smile, feigning innocence.

"Light, can you come over here? I need to talk to you for a moment."

I nodded and dropped my smile. I followed him outside the circle of police cars, away from all the commotion. Taking a deep breath, I readied myself for another lecture.

"Go home."

"What?" I was startled by the simple command. No speech about moral codes and doing the right thing followed it. I waited for him to continue, but he was already finished with me.

"You know what you did, Light. I really don't have time to deal with you now. Just go home."

"I -," I felt an apology on my tongue, but I refused to speak it. "Alright."

I walked away, toward my car, leaving my father without another word. As I pulled open the door, I could feel his heavy gaze on me.

His suspicion and disappointment hurt me more than I thought it would. I tried to bury my hurt, but it lingered. I placed the key in the ignition, cursing as the truck just coughed and sputtered before going silent.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed, slapping the wheel in a fit of rage and frustration. Soon after my face reddened, realizing my sudden outburst. I forgot Lawliet was in the truck. Hesitantly, I turned to him.

His gaze was set on the police cars, their lights illuminating his pale face. He was a dead-eyed doll sitting in my passenger seat, motionless and expressionless.

"Lawliet?" I cautiously asked.

He didn't answer and gave no indication that he heard me. It made the wariness in my chest turn to fear.

"Lawliet, what's wrong? Lawliet!" I gripped his shoulders, trying to squeeze a reaction out of him. Anything to break his silence.

Lawliet jumped, turning to me with a haunted expression. He blinked, staring at me for a long moment before speaking.

"Beyond…Beyond did this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw you go on a cute date with your werewolf boyfriend but it all goes to shit.
> 
> Please comment, follow, fav! :D

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment, fav, follow, etc! 3


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